What is the Past Asking of the Present?

After the full moon last weekend, I decided it was time to do some energetic releasing and begin exploring how to best direct my energy in the coming months.  While spring cleaning a few weeks ago, I opened a small box in my meditation corner that contained these little acorns gifted to me almost 15 years ago by three children at the laundromat.  I wrote my first blog about this experience which can be read here: Little Acorns. 

I kept these acorns as a reminder of how growing into your full potential requires a breaking open and shedding of different layers of your identity.  When I found these acorns while cleaning, I reflected on where I was 15 years ago and how these children who are now young adults must be experiencing the world. 

On Saturday I decided to release the acorns in the park where they originated as a signal to the universe that I am ready for the much-needed inner work at this time.  As soon as I walked away, a squirrel came over and started stuffing them in his mouth.  I now call him my shaman squirrel as he generously volunteered to ensure these acorns would be “transformed and released” so I can be free to dream a new world into reality for myself and the collective. 

What we are experiencing in the present – the uprising that’s crying out for change, the pandemic that has sent us into isolation for 3 months or more, the uncertainty for the future – is an accumulation of our past that reaches far back to long before we were even born. 

Chaos cycles like the one 2020 has presented, are opportunities to reclaim lost power as we make whole with the past. 

The present is always a result of the past and how we deal with the past in the present is how we shape our future. 

The question to ask is what aspects of the past are saying “Enough already!” and screaming out for change? 

What old patterning is ready to shift and take on new energy, passion, creativity, and momentum?  And in what areas of your life?

The weekend of June 20^th and 21^st will be one of the energetic highlights of 2020 with the Summer Solstice and New Moon Solar Eclipse in Cancer meeting each other.  The peak energy of the sun will be present to charge the seeds of intention planted with the New Moon.  However, the energetic potential held within these intentions is meant to carry us through to the end of the year and into 2021.  We’re in it for the long haul but just imagine the power that can be reclaimed during these next six months!

The energy of the sun reflects the fire in one’s spirit, inspiring action and providing the passion, courage and motivation needed to transform old patterns that are no longer useful.  The energy of the moon reflects the expression of one’s soul, providing wisdom, fluidity, and receptivity to change and transformation. 

On the Summer Solstice 15 years ago, I received my Reiki master attunement with four other beautiful and amazing women.  At that moment, our lives changed forever as we claimed our power to help ourselves and the world experience wholeness.  As I initiate my own Reiki master students on the Summer Solstice this year, the power rooted in the journey they’ve taken to get here is ready to be claimed and at a time when this healing work is needed more than ever.

Wherever you find yourself the weekend of June 20^th and 21^st, take a moment and reflect on the power you are ready to claim and how you want to nurture it in the coming months.  With chaos, comes clarity and with clarity comes inspired action.  Just ask the sun and the moon as they meet at this powerful time of the year. 

Can you just listen?

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor

Tuesday morning I woke to find the #BlackoutTuesday movement going viral on social media.  Before posting the blacked-out image on my Instagram account to show solidarity, I read a little on the origin of the movement by the music industry.  As with other moments like this on social media, I knew it would have many layers of meaning for everyone who participated.

As a white woman, posting the black box wasn’t just about showing solidarity for the black community and speaking up against social injustice, it was about committing to be a better listener to the voices of those in pain.  To take a day or even a few days to not post about myself or my own thoughts or ideas, but to just read posts from those who are angry and grieving as well as those offering ideas on how everyone can work to create sustainable change.

When I learned of the killing of George Floyd, the heaviness came crashing down just at it had with Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery in recent weeks and all the other lives taken while worshiping, going to school or just simply living, year after year after year. 

Then there is the question of what can I say or do that will make a difference?

Reiki, along with many other spiritual practices, can bring you to such states of expanded awareness, bliss and connection to that unified field of love that when you return to the heavy realities of the world, the contrast can make times like this feel that much heavier.  Because of this, I will often hear people in the spiritual community say that they don’t like to discuss politics or even watch the news because it’s so overwhelming for someone who is highly sensitive or empathic.

At the same time though, the foundational Buddhist principles in the practice of Reiki and Mikao Usui’s teachings are rooted in the idea that we awaken to enlightenment in order to become a healing presence for others, to operate as a human bodhisattva if you will.  Bodhisattva’s don’t go where there is light.  Instead, they bring light to the darkness and pull out of the shadows the power needed to heal the pain and suffering of all sentient beings. 

As I walked and meditated on the death of George Floyd, I kept hearing a voice say in my mind over and over “Can you just listen?”  As this question became my mantra, I realized that it was silencing my inner empath which can take me down if it’s allowed to be in the driver’s seat.  Empaths are energetic sponges, but when that empathy is kept in check, it can become a great resource of compassion without overwhelming the nervous system.

I’ve learned that when empathy runs amuck, it’s not only overwhelming, but it does a disservice to those we want to help.  Taking on the energetic pain that another person is experiencing in many ways diminishes the personal power that is restored in the healing process.  My Reiki teacher emphasized from day one that it isn’t up to us as Reiki healers to “do” the healing for another person.  It is up to us to be present and bear witness to the healing.

For those who are at a loss for words or action but want to be a conduit for healing when it comes to social injustice, racism, antisemitism, misogyny and any other kind of hate, the first step is to ask yourself, “Can I just listen?” 

Just listen.

After my meditative walk, I wrote the following words in my journal asking myself:

Can you just listen not to evaluate but to cultivate a presence of understanding? 

Can you just listen to the pain and suffering of another through the expansive lens of love without shrinking it to fit inside the frame of your own suffering?

Can you just listen to the grievance of another through the open lens of understanding even when it’s a grievance you can’t relate to?

Can you just listen to one’s expression of anger with the understanding that it is a sign of an unmet need?

Can you just listen to an opposing opinion through the open lens of curiosity and not let it threaten your own truths?

Can you just listen to another’s suffering with the understanding that to be human is to suffer but each of us suffers in our own way?

Can you just listen to bear witness to the untangling of the yarn of suffering in another, honoring each tired and frayed thread as it eventually weaves itself back to wholeness once again?

When you listen to another with a beginner’s mind and unconditional presence, the power to heal is unleashed and takes on a life of its own.

Half of the battle is showing up to listen and then the other half is letting understanding lead to even deeper understanding which will eventually inspire the right words and the right action.

If you find yourself at a loss for words and action during this dark time, begin with listening.

If you find yourself overcome with grief, fear, anger, and confusion, I am here to listen. 

Just comment here and we can connect.

What a dragon, beehive and cowardly lion are teaching me about vulnerability

The first weekend that we were under quarantine, this year’s Reiki master students met on Zoom for part of the Journeying Between Worlds Class. We did a Shamanic journey to receive an answer to the question of how humanity will evolve coming out of this pandemic.

As the journey began, I found myself in complete darkness when suddenly I was being handed a lantern, but I couldn’t see who was giving it to me. Then I realized it wasn’t a lantern, but a beehive whose aura was so golden that it looked like a lantern. I then felt someone grab me to take me on the journey. As we traveled upward, I discovered my spirit guide for this journey was a dragon and as we floated up above the clouds to the outer edges of the earth’s magnetic field, the dragon explained to me that she was here to teach me about courage in the face of fear and vulnerability.

As the journey progressed, the bees emerged from the hive and began to drop pollen all over the earth. The dragon explained that they are pollinating the new growth that will emerge as the world begins to heal. As we began to float back down through the clouds and the falling pollen, I discovered the entire world’s population forming a circle around the planet and in the middle was a giant dandelion weed. The dragon reached down and said we are uprooting fear from the human consciousness and began to pull the weed out of the earth. As this happened, I felt a pulling at the top of my head and a rush of energy down my spine.

Returning from this journey, I knew that no matter the challenges that lie ahead, I would be okay. Everything I need to navigate the uncertainty is already within me.

A couple weeks later, we had the beautiful April full moon, often called the Pink Moon. I drew a card from the Inner Child Deck by Isha Lerner and got the Cowardly Lion. I immediately knew the lion was there to not only enforce the message the dragon had shared but to activate my courage to face my own personal vulnerabilities while extending compassion to others and the difficulties they face.

There have been just a few events within our lifetime that unite the world in vulnerability unlike any other times in history. This COVID-19 pandemic is one such time. This reminds us that in the end, no matter our role in society, we as human beings are united by the same experiences of both love and fear, joy and suffering, vulnerability and compassion. It is gifting us the opportunity to come together for the greater whole and examine the structures within our global civilization that need to shift so those who are most vulnerable won’t be left behind.

Vulnerability is a gift when we open our hearts to it instead of resisting it. It allows us to recognize our own personal humanity and the humanity of others without shame or blame. There is often an impulse to want to build a shell or wall around our vulnerability to protect us, but when we can breathe into the fear and allow these soft edges of our humanity to remain exposed we leave an opening for the light of love to shine through not just for us but for others as well. When people can see our vulnerability something inside them activates their own sense of love and compassion. Little by little this compassion becomes contagious until we realize we’re all in it together.

When we reach the other side of this pandemic, my personal hope is that our shared vulnerability from this virus will influence how we rebuild the foundation of our civilization.

When it comes to self-care, developing a healthy relationship to your own vulnerability can deepen your connection to self-love as well as a heightened state of awareness and compassion for the vulnerabilities of others.

In what ways have you had to face your own vulnerabilities during the pandemic? How has it deepened your sense of compassion for yourself and others?

For me, it’s been an invitation to own my personal power in a whole new way and have faith in myself and the universe that this chaos cycle is happening for my highest good and the highest good of humanity. It’s an opportunity to use my Reiki practice to stay energetically steady and support others in doing the same.

When the Body Catches Up with the Spirit

Have you ever been told you are too sensitive?  Throughout my childhood and well into adulthood I have been told I am too sensitive and 2020 is teaching me how to own it in a whole new way. 

Being told I was too sensitive didn’t make me less sensitive, it just created a patterned response of silencing the messages my emotions and body were giving me.  Between adults telling me to shake things off and my dance training encouraging me to push through the physical pain to build strength and flexibility, I compensated for my discomfort by working harder. 

On January 16^th of this year, I was officially diagnosed with celiac disease.  Because of my age, this “later-in-life” diagnosis means that it is progressed and the lining in my small intestine will take a couple of years to heal.  For those who don’t know about celiac disease, it’s a condition where the body reacts to gluten by breaking down the lining of the small intestine.  Untreated, it can lead to other autoimmune disorders.  When I was a child, I suffered from migraines and swollen adenoids which can be symptoms of celiac disease.  I also struggled to concentrate and focus and so worked twice as hard to get good grades.  I remember spacing out during reading class in third grade and my teacher humiliating me for it in front of all the other students. 

Looking back now, the signs were always bubbling under the surface, but celiac disease wasn’t well known at the time.  I had a male doctor once tell me my chronic anemia was because I am a menstruating woman.  The psoriasis on my foot was treated with steroid creams without any other exploration into why this was appearing out of nowhere in my late twenties.  Then there was the episode of “food poisoning” that landed me in the hospital. 

In recent years other chronic issues have crept up and I decided to see a functional medicine doctor who would connect the dots and not just treat symptoms.  After taking the time to ask questions about my entire life’s history, she ordered the bloodwork that revealed the genetic marker and antibodies for celiac disease.  All it took was her listening and exploring the bigger picture.

The GI doctor who performed the diagnostic endoscopy said to me that at least I got to enjoy gluten for an extra ten to twenty years.  I was stunned by her words because I never enjoyed gluten foods like bread, bagels and pasta.  In fact, I rarely ate them because I usually felt terrible after.  Instead, I was grieving the fact that I had gone through most of my life pushing past my symptoms not realizing they were pointing to something wrong with my health.

In energy medicine the small intestine is connected to the Sacral Chakra which engages your capacity to be nourished not just by food but by your life experiences.  Learning Reiki led me down a path of emotional and spiritual healing that has restored my relationship to what makes me a highly sensitive person and accept it as a strength instead of a perceived weakness.  This work has helped me to forgive the past and forge new patterns to support myself and other empaths so we can continue to feel nourished in life instead of depleted.

This return to energetic wholeness has come full circle and now my physical body is being given a chance to catch up to my spirit.  My health requires me to take ownership of my physical sensitivities just as much as my spirit invited me to take ownership of my emotional sensitivities.  In many ways, this new limitation is setting me free to advocate for myself like I never could in the past. 

As unity and cooperation in slowing down the spread of COVID-19 are being embraced around the world, it occurs to me that we are all catching up to the collective soul of humanity.  There is a deep longing in people to feel part of an interconnected whole.  Many of the conflicts around the world are ultimately rooted in a fear of being rejected, left out, left behind or falling behind whether it be in finances, health, safety or general happiness and fulfillment.  This virus is teaching us that when we cooperate for the greater whole, we discover a new level of appreciation and respect for one another.  In limiting our personal freedoms in the short term, we are helping to set the world free of this virus and perhaps establish a foundation for a better tomorrow where no one is left behind by society. 

Every night at 7 pm, I hear the ever-growing roar of people cheering and clapping for all the essential workers risking their wellbeing to serve people’s basic needs and safety.  On my block we now have the dogs barking alongside and a tuba player! 

Being forced to isolate is an opportunity to reflect on what matters most.  When we emerge, will it be with a sense of unity and appreciation for our fellow human beings and the earth?  We will be forever changed by this virus and the gift in that is the opportunity to lay the foundation for what we want this changed tomorrow to look like. 

Creating Heaven on Earth

A long-time client of mine recently sent me a photo showing how she repurposed the glass jar from a candle she purchased last year and is now using it as a planter.  I was delighted by this not only for practical reasons but because it was the purple tinted jar from the 7^th Chakra candle.  The 7^th Chakra resides at the top of the head and is the gateway to the spirit realm and our relationship to the all-encompassing energy of the universe. 

I love how the roots of my customer’s plant can be seen through the glass.  In recent weeks I’ve been inspired to place crystals relating to the 7^th Chakra (i.e., amethyst and selenite) below my clients’ feet to create a pathway for a higher vibration to be anchored or “rooted” into the physical body. 

Three-dimensional existence makes it is easy to forget everything that happens underneath the surface of life to enable the creation process to even begin.  A seed of a dream needs courage to break open and reach into unknown territory.  In the beginning, there is uncertainty and vulnerability before a dream or vision can establish roots.  Along the way there can be tears of both frustration and joy, obstacles to overcome and victories to be celebrated, setbacks that test one’s resolve and momentum to be gained.  My customer’s picture of the roots being revealed was a beautiful reminder of how much unseen activity takes place before a dream or vision can emerge. 

Every sentient being is an interactive channel of life-force energy and thus a co-creator with the universe.  If you have a dream or vision, how you channel the energy flowing through you will determine your satisfaction with the co-creation process no matter the outcome.  Desire, passion, faith in yourself and the universe and curiosity all help with staying the course when meeting challenges along the way. 

Having a dream that excites you is a calling from spirit or your higher self, asking you to create a little more heaven on earth.  Sometimes dreams can manifest in a flash, just as some plants spring up seemingly overnight under the right circumstances.  Other dreams require more time (and patience) in the unseen darkness of the soil before the roots are strong enough to anchor the vision into reality.  Having a support system is important because those callings often mean overcoming both inner and outer obstacles and resistance.  When the negative self-talk and frustration arise, taking ownership of your worthiness enables you to get curious about those challenges instead of letting them take you down.  When a plant encounters a rock in its trajectory of growth, it doesn’t give up and revert into a seed.  Instead it redirects its growth.  If its environmental conditions are challenging, the plant concentrates its resources which often results in deeper color, fragrance or flavor.  The same holds true when it comes to nurturing a dream.  Obstacles aren’t there to stop you, but to help you heal and experience the fullness of your gifts along the way. 

More than ever people worldwide are waking up to the need for restoring harmony to mother earth.  Inventors and scientists are developing new technologies to rebalance nature’s ecosystems.  Whether by choice or necessity, individuals are striking out on their own, taking paths less travelled to become solopreneurs and discovering the gifts they can share to make the world a better place.  There are examples of new leadership that inspire communities to support each other. 

There are many unknowns when the seeds of dreams are planted, yet with each seed there is also a window of opportunity for heaven to anchor its light on earth and promote an ever evolving individual and collective consciousness.  

In what ways do your dreams create a little more heaven on earth?

What’s in Your Love Corner?

When my cat Gracie moved in over 8 years ago, I was struck by how she immediately made herself at home, acting as if she’d lived in the apartment her whole life.  Despite having spent her first 18 months on the streets and in 2 different homes, she just trusted she would be okay wherever she was.  Because cats are also sensitive to energy, I took this to mean that my apartment, as humble as it is, had good vibes.

Gracie’s open-hearted nature is quite unusual for cats coming from circumstances like hers.  Whenever I hold her, I can feel her heart light up just like ET’s heart-light.  One thing I noticed though was that Gracie, with all her affection, was not a lap cat.  She would hang out next to you but never wanted to be on your lap.  That is, until I made some changes in my living room. 

A few years back it was time to do some deep clearing in my home and I got rid of some old furniture.  One piece was an old trunk that originally served as my childhood toy box.  When I moved to NYC, I painted it and put cushions on it to leverage as both storage and seating.  I knew it was time to let it go and replaced it with a comfy chair.

When I purchased the chair, I envisioned it to be a place to relax, read and watch TV.  However, I got more than I bargained for because it also became the chair that transformed Gracie into a lap cat.  As soon as you sit in that chair, Gracie takes a flying leap into your lap, makes herself at home and will sit there for hours if you let her.  She purrs, naps and encourages you to pet her. 

One day I remembered that, according to feng shui, the chair is also in the love corner* of my living room and can’t help but wonder if Gracie is somehow aware of it too.  Whenever I need a little love and affection, I know now to take a time out in the love corner and Gracie will remind me of the infinite love that is always available in any given moment. 

After my grandmother passed on Valentine’s Day 11 years ago, my heart chakra split open as my mother, brother and I cleared out her apartment.  During those 2 days, whenever I was in the apartment, waves of energy poured through my heart and it was because of all the love infused between those four walls.  She lived in a subsidized apartment building without anything fancy in her home, but all the memories of the love she shared had transformed it into a sanctuary for us. 

Whether you’ve lived in your home for decades or just a day, whether it’s luxurious or a humble NYC walk-up, take a look around and make note of what you appreciate most about it and what “sparks joy” to quote Marie Kondo.  How can you highlight the aspects of your life that mean the most to you in your home?  

What can you place in your love corner that reminds you of the love that’s always available to you and that you share with others in return?

For me, each time Gracie hangs with me in our special chair, I can feel both our heart chakras open and remember that love is infinite and always present no matter what else is happening.  

 

*NOTE:  The love corner is the far-right corner of your home when you enter the front door or the far-right corner from the entrance to a room.  

Learning to Bless the Mess

From my earliest recollections of childhood, my mother would invite me to join her in the kitchen when she cooked.  I have a distinct memory of the first batch of brownies she made with me and her guiding my hand as we leveled the cup of flour together with a spatula.  The kitchen was probably the happiest room in our home.  It was a place where we could create something together and enjoy the results.

As a teenager, I would sometimes cook a meal on my own and to both my parents’ chagrin, I would make a huge mess instead of cleaning up as I went.  I just couldn’t stop the flow of what I was doing and preferred to clean up at the end instead.  After a while, I think they learned to just avoid the kitchen while I played chef. 

I remember one day, though, when I was on break from college, my dad walked into the kitchen to find me slapping pasta on the new kitchen cabinets to see if it was done.  I suspect his blood pressure was as high as the spaghetti dangling from the upper cabinet door.  My mother was trained as a surgeon nurse at Mt. Sinai Hospital and so I like to think her discipline to clean up as she cooked originated from her education.  When it came to the home, she had a specific way of doing everything down to the smallest of details. 

At the end of 2019, I was feeling a bit stressed by the year-end mess in my own home.  Due to some unexpected twists and turns, I just couldn’t find the time to clean like I usually do over the holidays.  I like my home to be in order and decorated in time for the Winter Solstice. 

On New Year’s Eve, I meditated on how I was stepping into 2020, this big new decade, with unfinished business from my past and how my home was reflecting this.  As my mind released its grip on the stress and overwhelm, I felt a wave of compassion for myself rise within me just as I would for any of my Reiki clients feeling this way.  Healing isn’t about fixing what you think is wrong with you, but instead about meeting yourself with love and blessing where you are, mess and all. 

There really is no magic switch come midnight January 1^st that turns us into brand new people with all these great new habits and goals that make us better.  Each breath you take is a new beginning from which you evolve, from which your energy flows and from which your mind can change its focus. 

What 2020 is teaching me so far is that sometimes life needs to get messy for you to discover a new layer of wholeness.  Just like creating a delicious meal, sometimes the kitchen needs spaghetti hanging off the cabinets and sauce on the floor for the best possible outcome.  And then at other times, you have the luxury to clean up as you go. 

My resolution for this next decade is to mindfully bless the messes in my life, to fully embrace those times when I can’t clean up as I go.  I will meditate with the unfolded pile of laundry next me and do yoga on my unvacuumed rug, remembering that with each breath I have a choice to allow the energy to take me where I am meant to be.  In turn, these practices will help me face some of life’s bigger messes.

If you entered 2020 with some of your own lingering messes, take a moment to bless them and honor where you are.  I am always reminding myself that nothing is permanent, and no matter what is happening today, your next course is being prepared in the kitchen of life.