From my earliest recollections of childhood, my mother would invite
me to join her in the kitchen when she cooked.
I have a distinct memory of the first batch of brownies she made with me
and her guiding my hand as we leveled the cup of flour together with a spatula. The kitchen was probably the happiest room in
our home. It was a place where we could
create something together and enjoy the results.
As a teenager, I would sometimes cook a meal on my own and
to both my parents’ chagrin, I would make a huge mess instead of cleaning up as
I went. I just couldn’t stop the flow of
what I was doing and preferred to clean up at the end instead. After a while, I think they learned to just avoid
the kitchen while I played chef.
I remember one day, though, when I was on break from
college, my dad walked into the kitchen to find me slapping pasta on the new kitchen
cabinets to see if it was done. I
suspect his blood pressure was as high as the spaghetti dangling from the upper
cabinet door. My mother was trained as a
surgeon nurse at Mt. Sinai Hospital and so I like to think her discipline to
clean up as she cooked originated from her education. When it came to the home, she had a specific way
of doing everything down to the smallest of details.
At the end of 2019, I was feeling a bit stressed by the year-end
mess in my own home. Due to some unexpected
twists and turns, I just couldn’t find the time to clean like I usually do over
the holidays. I like my home to be in
order and decorated in time for the Winter Solstice.
On New Year’s Eve, I meditated on how I was stepping into
2020, this big new decade, with unfinished business from my past and how my
home was reflecting this. As my mind released
its grip on the stress and overwhelm, I felt a wave of compassion for myself
rise within me just as I would for any of my Reiki clients feeling this way. Healing isn’t about fixing what you think is
wrong with you, but instead about meeting yourself with love and blessing where
you are, mess and all.
There really is no magic switch come midnight January 1st
that turns us into brand new people with all these great new habits and goals that
make us better. Each breath you take is
a new beginning from which you evolve, from which your energy flows and from
which your mind can change its focus.
What 2020 is teaching me so far is that sometimes life needs
to get messy for you to discover a new layer of wholeness. Just like creating a delicious meal, sometimes
the kitchen needs spaghetti hanging off the cabinets and sauce on the floor for
the best possible outcome. And then at
other times, you have the luxury to clean up as you go.
My resolution for this next decade is to mindfully bless the
messes in my life, to fully embrace those times when I can’t clean up as I
go. I will meditate with the unfolded pile
of laundry next me and do yoga on my unvacuumed rug, remembering that with each
breath I have a choice to allow the energy to take me where I am meant to be. In turn, these practices will help me face
some of life’s bigger messes.
If you entered 2020 with some of your own lingering messes, take
a moment to bless them and honor where you are.
I am always reminding myself that nothing is permanent, and no matter
what is happening today, your next course is being prepared in the kitchen of
life.
