8 Tools for Empaths to Manage their Energy During the Holidays

For anyone who identifies with being an empath, the holidays can come around each year with a mixed bag of stress.  It’s not just about the booked calendars, deadlines and extra activities, but it’s also about coping with the external energies that can throw an empath off balance.  Empaths are like sponges, mopping up the energy in their environment and with the heightened energy of the holidays, they can get saturated quickly.  Setting clear internal and external boundaries are crucial for an empath to maintain their wellbeing and happiness any time of year, but especially during the holiday season. 

Here are some tools to consider if you’re an empath and, even if you don’t identify as an empath, these tools are great for just about anyone who is finding themselves stressed right about now. 

1.  Be realistic about expectations you place on yourself.  Manage your expectations for what can be accomplished without killing yourself.  Often the usual to-do list takes on a life of its own with personal and professional expectations during the last weeks of the year.  As empaths we often want to please others and go the extra mile, but this may be the time to activate your inner slacker whenever possible and send your inner perfectionist on a well-deserved vacay.  You of course want to meet your responsibilities and do a good job but evaluate what items can wait or what doesn’t need to be perfect.  Believe it or not, being half-assed at certain things can create surprisingly good results, just in a different way sometimes. 

2.  Make an exit strategy when RSVP’ing to the obligatory holiday parties.  If you dread the annual office holiday party or similar social occasions, think about ways you can attend without getting drained by the extra socializing.  These occasions can often involve spending extra time with people who already drain your energy, so be mindful of how you can limit your exposure.  Maybe scope out a person you worked well with on a project and get to know them more.  Or, attend the party early and have a reason to leave before everyone starts crowding in.  While you may feel the need to attend in order to develop your professional relationships, you don’t necessarily have to stay the whole time.  Know your limits and then have a plan to bow out.  If you find you must stay longer than you’d like, find ways to take short breaks like stepping outside to get some air. 

3.  The white lie that isn’t really a lie.  When saying “No, I can’t because I have other plans,” and the plans are to stay at home, that isn’t really a lie.  Honor your need to have time at home for self-care.  You don’t need to explain your no.  Simply say no without explanation.  It leaves little wiggle room for someone to talk you out of your decision or cross your boundaries.  Saying no is just as much a gift to others as saying yes.  Saying yes when you want to say no is not only dishonoring yourself, it can leave you unfairly resenting those around you.  And if you have to say no even when you really want to say yes, look for alternative ways you can accommodate a request or invitation.  If you regret saying yes to something, make note of it for next time.  Taking responsibility for the decisions you make can be extremely empowering when you’re an empath. 

4.  Manage your triggers around family.  Over the years I’ve noticed some of my students and clients looking at going home for the holidays as a test for how far they have grown in their self-awareness.  To quote Tolstoy, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  Empaths often grew up with dysfunctional family dynamics and can be triggered by hostility or negativity in the room even when it’s not being directed at them.  Their reflex is to try and neutralize a situation even at the cost of their own sense of ease and well-being.  When going home for the holidays, look for ways you can take breaks from the group dynamic by going for a walk, reading a book, playing with the family pets or the younger children.  Also suggest activities that will take everyone’s attention off each other and on something else.  Volunteering as a family at a soup kitchen or a toy or coat drive can bring meaning to the occasion and be a reminder of the true spirit of the holiday season.  You could also get tickets for the family to attend a holiday show at the local community theater. 

5.  Do something creative or crafty like baking, making ornaments, etc.  Working with your hands calms anxiety and focuses your whole being on the present moment.  The hands are an extension of the heart.  There are literally channels of energy that run from the heart and into the palms of the hands, so making something with your hands is a way of sharing your love with others.  It’s also a great way to calm your heart in return.  When you work with your hands, your mind, body and spirit are fully engaged, and this helps you feel more grounded.  There are tons of craft ideas out there even if you don’t see yourself as a crafty person - coloring, painting, pottery, knitting, cooking, baking, making candles, lotions and soaps.  There’s lots to choose from, so make that trip to your local craft store and let yourself get lost in the aisles to see what resonates for you. 

6.  Prioritize your inner circle.  Make the people who mean the most to you and leave you feeling uplifted your top priority.  It can be easy to get caught up in the social obligations that we forget to schedule time with the people who make us laugh and love us for all our silly quirks.  So even if it’s a coffee or lunch date before you head out of town, make sure to schedule time with your besties.  Some of my best friends live far away and so we’ll schedule a phone visit over coffee either just before or after the holidays to catch up on each other’s lives knowing it’s going to be an hour plus conversation. 

7.  Slow down on the alcohol and sugar consumption.  Alcohol and sugar are in abundance at the holidays and it can be tempting when you’re low on energy or stressed out to reach for one or the other or both.  One of the best ways to manage your energy and stress is to cut back on the booze and sweets.  I find that sugar cravings are a clue that the body is trying to get grounded.  Make sure you get enough protein (lean and plant-based are best), greens and root vegetables.  A little unsweetened cacao will also help curb the sugar cravings.

8.  Don’t abandon your daily rituals.  This one can be seriously challenging for me.  Having a morning ritual has been an important part of helping me stay focused and energized throughout the day.  All year long I do everything I can to stay true to these rituals, so even when I fall off track during the holidays, it’s easy to get back on the saddle.  Don’t beat yourself up if you drop off, but also be aware of it and get back on track as soon as you can.

I often refer to myself a recovering empath and it’s taken a lot of work and self-awareness to not slip completely back into my old patterning.  What I’ve learned on this journey so far is that it’s critical to “stay in my lane” and not take on other people’s issues or emotions.  This has helped me to both restore my personal power and deepen my state of compassion for those around me.  Taking on other people’s heavy emotions and challenges doesn’t give them the energetic space they need to learn, grow and heal in their own way and timing that is right for them.  I love the visual of being a lighthouse.  A lighthouse stands tall and strong and shines its light.  It doesn’t try and chase the boats down and direct them on where to go.  If they did, then their light couldn’t shine as far and wide as it does. 

Discovering the language for what it means to be an empath enlightened me on the unconscious emotional patterning I’d been carrying around for most of my life.  It’s been a deeply rooted part of who I am for so long that shifting this energetic patterning has required consistency, patience and most importantly self-love.  My empathic nature may never completely disappear, but when I become aware of it, I can recognize more quickly what I need to do to manage my energy. 

Whether you’re an empath or simply stressed out this holiday season, gift yourself the space you need to explore your energetic needs.  It’s a gift that will keep on giving throughout the entire year.

The Receiving Tree

What I love most about this time of year is how there is a golden essence infusing everything in the mid to late afternoon and yet at the same time, the light creates these dramatic shadows.  On days when I can make it to the park, I find myself walking in a meditative state, soaking in this beautiful essence.  It feels like I’m storing it in my body, like the squirrels stashing away their nuts for the winter.

This year, a tree caught my eye as I was noticing the dark, twisty shadows of the different tree trunks and branches.  I was seeing the shadow of what looked like someone standing with their arms open and receiving the light shining down.  I smiled as I looked at the tree’s two beautiful branches that curved wide open like the bottom of a heart, ready to receive all the blessings of the universe.  

I thought to myself that this is the opposite of the tree in Shel Silverstein’s book, The Giving Tree, and so I named her the Receiving Tree.  When you think about how much unconditional nurturing trees offer us, you can’t help but feel loved.  They give us oxygen, support, grounding and shade.  Their core is strong and unaffected by the children and critters who love to climb them or nest in them.  They release their leaves each year to fertilize the earth for new growth.  

Yet, trees also know how to receive.  Their roots grow deep into the soil, creating a whole network for receiving nourishment, water and stability.  They draw in the energy of the sun to support the growth of their leaves.  They know how to provide for themselves so they can give unconditionally to others.

Part of the journey to wholeness is becoming aware of where your energy is flowing at any given moment.  It’s about knowing when you are giving of your energy or discharging it and why, as well as when you are open to receiving.  When there is a balanced flow, there is a sense of grace and appreciation.  Mastery comes with knowing when you need to preserve your energy and when you're being called to expend it.  

Nature is currently preparing to preserve her energy for the winter months.  We see the rustling and hustling to gather up the reserves to get through the darkest and coldest months.  There is both an airiness and a fire to this preparation, a letting go and a gathering.  This has me reflecting on what is not only ready to be shed in my own life, but also on what energy from this year I am carrying with me into the next cycle of growth.

For myself, this means making a list of everything I appreciate about what has taken place, both the blessings and the heartaches.  But it also means becoming clearly aware of where my focus is and learning to differentiate between my desires and my decisions.  Desire is always going to be there, but once you decide, there is a sense of commitment and the universe will start to challenge you to keep that commitment.  Opportunities will flow your way that both honor your decision and challenge you to stay true to your authentic self.  

I’ve come to realize that the concept of manifesting your best life isn’t so much about desire but about clearly knowing what the right next step is for you and deciding it’s now or never.  I already feel the energies of next year stirring the cosmic pot.  More than ever, as we awaken to a higher perspective, we are going to be challenged to make clearer decisions on the direction we’re each headed, the light we are carrying and the energy we are sharing to live in alignment with our values.

The Giving Tree has been a controversial children’s book from the day it was written because of its depiction of a co-dependent relationship between a boy and a female tree.  While I have mixed thoughts about this controversy, each time I walk by my Receiving Tree now, I become more receptive to the inner and outer energy at play.  I connect within to see how much light I am carrying with me that day, how much am I open to receiving and how much am I able to give.

Curiousity and Resilience

As a young child, I was always wandering off and getting lost.  My parents would probably tell you these incidents are responsible for many of their grey hairs as they got older.  One of the most memorable instances of this happened when I was four years old and joined a school field trip to the beach.  My mom was uneasy about it with me being so young, but she and my dad also wanted me to start socializing with other children before beginning kindergarten later that year.

When the school bus returned hours late, my mom was frantic.  Sure enough, I was the cause for the hang-up because I had wandered off from the group and they couldn’t find me.  I also returned sporting a severe sun burn . . .

Looking back on my child self and how she loved to wander off and explore, I realize curiosity is a natural part of who I am.  As an adult, I now enjoy “getting lost” in my creativity and learning about new ideas and concepts. 

Curiosity has also become an important healing tool to for cultivating personal resilience.  When something you hope for doesn’t work out, disappointment can be overwhelming and take you down.  For me, as an older child and well into my adult life, I mistook my failures and disappointments as a reflection of my value and self-worth.  Curiosity has taught me how to restore my self-confidence by drawing on the valuable lessons and insights that come with failure and disappointment.

My daily Reiki meditation and self-care practice has shown me that no matter what is happening in my life, I am worthy just as I am.  This has helped me to release the self-doubt I had been carrying around for decades.  Success is the result of consistently showing up with the energy and focus your dream, goal or vision requires of you.  Sometimes it takes longer to achieve than you originally plan or comes together in an unexpected way.  Drawing on the energy of curiosity will sustain your faith throughout the process and elevate your perspective when it comes to the bigger picture. 

Like a child wandering off to explore, curiosity is always there to serve you when you are contemplating a new idea or vision.  It’s also there to support you when you are in the messy thick of things and unsure of what is next.  And, when you are at the end of accomplishing something, curiosity is there to inspire the next desire, dream or vision.

Each of us has come into this life to learn something, to have a question or series of questions answered.  Whether or not you are aware of it, this curiosity is what draws or attracts you to many of the experiences you’ve already had.  When I reflect on where my dreams have steered me since childhood, I am crystal clear that my soul came here to explore how mysticism can be experienced within the three-dimensional realm to both heal the mind, body and spirit and co-create with the universe.

What big question or series of questions drive your desires in life?  What has that curiosity taught you so far?

While curiosity can take you out of your comfort zone, it can also restore your confidence in times of uncertainty.  Unlike the saying “Curiosity killed the cat,” curiosity is what drives both our individual and collective evolution.

3 Ways to Infuse Your Day with Pleasure

With this week embodying the back-to-school/back-to-business vibe, I’ve been reflecting on how to stay in the flow of pleasure that comes from when you take a vacation or time off to relax.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of the have-to-do’s, that maintaining a connection to that feeling can get long forgotten.

When I teach Reiki Level 1, there are the daily meditations and self-care practices that I encourage everyone to do for 22 consecutive days and more often than not students come back to me sharing how much they love it and look forward to those moments in their day.  I ask them in the beginning to be realistic with how much time they can devote to their daily practice and that 10 minutes daily can make a substantial difference in feeling more balanced and at ease in your daily life than striving to commit to 30 minutes or an hour and only making it happen a couple times a week. 

The same is true for the rituals that bring you joy and pleasure.  When you frame your day with these activities that take as little as a few minutes, you bring your mind, body, senses and spirit to the present moment and spark a sense of joy that will infuse your whole day. 

Here are 3 easy ways to bring joy and pleasure to your daily life:

1.  Commit to doing 1 to 3 short rituals each day.

Commit to 1 to 3 activities that are simple and easy to implement at the beginning and end of your day.  For me the first thing I do when I wake up is take 5 minutes to snuggle with my cat Gracie and really enjoy the feel of her soft fur, the sound and vibration of her purring and watching her enjoy the head and ear scratches I give her.  I also take 10-20 minutes to meditate and focus on the energy I want to experience for the day.  I will sometimes move my body or place my hands on my heart and stomach to activate that energy.  Over the summer I also took up journaling while enjoying my cup of coffee. 

Do I manage to do all 3 of these rituals every morning?  No.  Some mornings Gracie doesn’t feel like snuggling.  Some mornings I need get out the door quickly and don’t have time to journal.  It’s not about adding more pressure to do something as about having morning rituals you can return to and activate the experience of joy and pleasure.

Ask yourself what brings you joy and pleasure that you can do in 5 to 15 minutes to start and end your day?  Maybe it’s coloring, dancing, reading a funny comic strip, laughing with your children, listening to music, smelling the flowers in your yard or on your way to work.  The possibilities are endless.  Check in with your senses and take note of what brings them pleasure.

You may also want to change up your daily rituals seasonally.  The important thing is to take a few minutes to bring your mind, body and spirit to the present to engage in the energy of joy and pleasure.

2.   Keep a Pleasure Journal.

Gratitude journals are a tool people have been using for decades now.  They are powerful because they bring your focus to what is good about life and supports a state of happiness and wellbeing.  I’ve come to realize that focusing on the things that bring pleasure anchors that vibration of appreciation into your body on a cellular level.  If you already keep a gratitude journal, start adding to it what specifically brings you pleasure and see how this begins to influence your experience.  If you don’t already have a gratitude practice, then simply reflecting at the end of the day on 3 to 5 things that brought you pleasure is a good start and then eventually you may wish to write them down.

3.  Carve Out Time for Just You.

Make time on your calendar regularly for just you.  Whether it’s an hour or a whole day, carve out time to indulge in an activity that truly restores your whole being and brings you joy.  If you love dancing, go to that tango meetup you’ve been eyeing.  If you love hiking pick a Saturday every month to explore a new trail.  If you enjoy making things with your hands, take an afternoon to try that crazy recipe you found or paint that old trunk the funky color you’ve had in mind for months now. 

What’s most important is that you don’t compromise this time you’ve set aside for yourself.  Make it a priority over the list of things that “need” to get done.  It’s not going anywhere.  I love how Kris Carr calls it “unstructured time” meaning you set time aside for doing whatever pleases you in the moment.  So even if you set out to cook that fun meal but decide going to the park and reading a novel feels better, then you can always change your mind.

Why is this so important?

For me, I’ve come to realize that since childhood I’ve been an over achiever and having a running to do list has been second nature to me.  It’s not a bad thing but making room for fun and pleasure is an important part of experiencing balance and harmony in life.  I certainly feel the difference when I don’t make the time.

My Reiki practice has taught me these 2 things:

1.  Slowing down and being present makes me far more productive and focused for when I do take action; and

2.  When I let go and allow room for the flow of joy to infuse the present moment a lot of things take care of themselves.

When you let go and let flow magic happens!

People, opportunities and resources will seemingly show up out of nowhere and it all starts with surrendering to the flow of joy and pleasure! 

Where are you on the 8?

Last month, for nearly two weeks my computer was out of commission and, while yes mercury was retrograde, I’d never experienced a technological meltdown of this magnitude.  Because my old laptop wouldn’t connect with the internet, it really meant I was working from my phone and anything beyond that would take creative maneuvering.  As I sent my computer off to the other side of the country to be repaired, I took a deep breath and surrendered to the situation.  In that moment I knew everything would be okay and, in the meantime, I would just have to accept this forced slowdown.

In the end, the timing of it all worked out.  I had family visiting and it was my birthday.  The universe’s gift to me was to unplug and just enjoy myself, and I embraced every moment of it.  Part of my healing and growth in this lifetime has been about learning to embrace these times of chaos.  I’ve learned to recognize how the cosmos and nature reflect the beauty and wisdom of where I am in a cycle of co-creating with the universe instead of falling into the victim archetype. 

Today marks another astrological phenomenon called the Lionsgate.  This is when the sun unblocks the star Sirius as it moves through Leo.  Known as the gateway to the heavens, Sirius appears to be going through a rebirth and thus bestowing upon us a charged wave of energy.  The Lionsgate energy portal opens every year between July 26^th and August 12^th with 8/8 being at the height this transition.  The number eight represents the infinity symbol and is a reminder of the power within us to receive the blessings of life no matter where we are.

Life has its cycles that we can predict like the seasons and then there are the cycles we can’t predict such as chaos or unexpected blessings.  The chaos and blessings can arrive simultaneously, but they can also be spaced out over time.  The infinity symbol is a reminder of how energy flows like a web.  As it moves in one direction it simultaneously moves in the opposite direction.  When in balance, energy ebbs and flows forming a perfect figure eight.  We are receiving and releasing, taking action and being still, rising up and settling down in equal pacing.  However, life doesn’t work that way.  Either by choice or circumstances we can’t control, our figure eight is out often out of proportion. 

So how do we manage ourselves in the mix?  This when maintaining connection to the crisscross of the figure eight is important.  To find the middle wherever it might be, and trust that staying present with what is will guide you in the right direction.  There is nothing wrong with having a lopsided figure eight.  It often means something fantastic is evolving and growing in your life, but to own and maintain your power in the experience means being willing to stand in the middle and not resist the ebb and flow of the energetic dynamic at play. 

Where are you on your own figure eight?

Does it feel in balance at the moment? 

Is there a lot opening up for you?  Or are you being forced to slow down?

Are you at peace with it?  Resisting it?  Finding the power and the grace in your experience?

There is no right or wrong place to be.  In the end the choice is up to each of us to be present for all of it, even when it’s uncomfortable, and trust that the power is always within you to transform your experience.

The Summer I Learned About Freedom

Just as the first rays of light appeared on the horizon of the Pomona Hills in California, my parents and I set out on a life-changing adventure.  It was May 1976 and I was just under 6 years old.  As we pulled away from my first childhood home of memory, I sat buckled up in the back of the truck that would pull the Airstream which served as our temporary housing for the next few months.

As we drove up the west coast and across the country, coming upon small towns, national parks and the occasional big city, the country was celebrating its Bicentennial.  One of my fondest memories is of my Dad pulling out the CB radio he’d use to talk to other road travelers.  Sometimes it was to get information about the area we’d be driving through and other times it was to say a friendly hello.  This was long before the internet and cell phones, and good old-fashioned maps were our GPS.

For my parents this was a time of freedom.  My Dad was watching the orange groves of his childhood being paved over with highways, strip malls and subdivisions.  None of it aligned with my parents’ values of a simpler lifestyle that’s more connected to nature.

While there are so many happy memories of that trip and all the places we got to see, I also remember being afraid we would somehow get lost and never find a home again.  I would see houses with for-sale signs and suggest to my parents that we live there.  They thought it was funny, but I knew I wouldn’t feel completely at ease until we had a home base again.  Sure enough, by the beginning of July, we were parked at Bailey’s Campground, Maine and by the end of summer we’d be living in our new home, thousands of miles diagonally across from the life we knew before. 

On an early evening that summer, just before dusk, I learned to ride a bicycle.  As my Dad let go of the bike and set me free to ride on my own, Chrissy and David, our neighbor’s kids, were cheering me on as well.  The following year I begged my parents for a Pink Huffy bicycle.  My Dad knew he couldn’t afford a brand new one and was sweating how they’d make this happen.  As children we freely put our wishes out to the universe and don’t worry about how they will manifest.  We just trust it will happen.  Sure enough, my Dad came across an auction at a local police station and what should be up for bid, but a Pink Huffy!

Freedom comes to us in many ways.  It comes with making a big change and letting go of life as you know it.  It comes as a state of mind no matter your outer circumstances.  It comes as a felt sense that the universe has your back, so you are free to follow your bliss.  Freedom requires taking ownership of your story and the challenges you overcome, the sacrifices you make and the risks you take.  Some of the most powerful thinkers and changemakers in history have had to overcome the darkest of circumstances in order to free themselves and others.  That summer of the Bicentennial was my first lesson in what it means to be free both personally and as a citizen.  Little did I know how much more I would have to learn on the topic and am still learning to this day.

On a personal level, manifesting that Pink Huffy was a milestone.  I could set out on my own adventures on a summer afternoon, knowing I had the security of my family and home to return to.

My journey so far has taught me that you’re never completely stuck in life.  Each day, each breath is an opportunity to shift your thinking, embody a new feeling and move in the direction of your bliss even if it’s just an inch.  That is the ultimate freedom. 

Spirit Wisdom of Panda

Do you find yourself scrolling through social media and being drawn in by the cute kitten and puppy videos?  I know I am a sucker for them and could lose hours if I allow it to get out of control.  But a lot of people don’t know that videos of baby pandas can be just as, if not more entertaining.  At least my own inner child feels that way.

I was first introduced to panda when I was 3 years old.  My Dad had gone on a business trip to Hong Kong and brought back a stuffed panda bear doll.  I remember I was intrigued by the coloring and imagining what a live one looked like.  One night I dreamt that my panda bear was life sized and alive in my room.  I got so scared I had to sleep with my parents that night.

Fast forward to my thirties, during the Reiki master training, and panda appeared to me again in a dream.  I was once again a child and my parents were handing me the stuffed panda.  As soon as I held it, the doll came alive.  

It said to me, “I’ve been with you all this time.”

In that moment I realized Panda was my power animal!

The spiritual medicine of panda is for those who tend to be sensitive to energy, especially emotional extremes.  Panda also likes to have lots of personal space and sets strong boundaries around that space.  As a young child I had no siblings until I was seven and we didn’t have children my age in our neighborhood, so I was left to my solitude and imagination to entertain me.  While panda is a bit of a loner, they also enjoy being playful with other panda bears.  For me panda is the perfect power animal because they remind me of my love for people but my equal need for solitude.  To this day, I am mindful to set aside “unstructured” personal time on my calendar and keep strong boundaries around that time.  Without it, my energy gets depleted and scattered.

Summer is the season of the inner child, as the magic of nature is in full expression.  I invite you to connect with your inner child and ask them if there is a spirit animal you could work with at this time.  Invite your child self to speak to you while you are going for a walk, meditating or journaling.  You could also ask the question as you fall asleep and see if a message comes through in a dream.  Or you could take your inner child on a play date by doing something you used to enjoy as a child.  As you engage in any of these activities, your inner child just might reveal the perfect spirit animal for you at this time.

While many people have a single spirit animal that stays with them their whole life, other animals can come and go at different times with messages to support you.  If you don’t have a spirit animal, your inner child just might be able to help you discover yours.  My inner child certainly did.  I’ve come to recognize Panda as my lifelong spirit companion and am always grateful to my inner child self for revealing this to me.

A Horse Named Mere

Last fall I was invited to a dance workshop at a special place called Possibilities Farm in Connecticut.  This was no ordinary workshop though because it involved dancing with horses.

When Julie, my Reiki master graduate, invited me, my inner child jumped up and down and said, “I don’t care how busy you are, we need to go!”  When I was a young child, my parents cared for and housed horses, and dancing was my movement of choice, so this was the ultimate invitation for my child self to have some fun.  

When we arrived at the farm that afternoon, I immediately felt the energy and magic of this little oasis.  The four horses that reside there assist in the transmission of healing energy during Reiki Circles and other workshops that involve movement, drumming and meditation.  

The first part of the workshop was a session of 5 Rhythms Dance to warm up and get into the flow of the energy before the horses were ready to join us.  It was so delicious for my mind, body and spirit to be moving to these different rhythms under the trees and on the soft earth of the farm.

Paddington, a fun-loving miniature horse, came out first. He was more than happy to receive our adoring attention.  However, when Mere decided to join us, something in me shifted and I immediately knew I wanted to dance with her.  At first Mere determined the space where she wanted to interact with us.  She was setting very clear boundaries.  

Then we took turns, dancing with her one at a time.  Mere is a tall white horse with a strong stance but welcoming personality.  As I began to move around her and feel into her energy, I felt her sensing mine as well.  Then there was the moment I realized it was safe for me to let go and allow spirit to lead me in the dance.  I felt my whole being surrender to the flow of energy and as I looked up at her, I could see joy in her eyes while moving with me.

The word Mere means mother in French.  That afternoon gave my own inner child a chance to dance freely in the presence of the Divine Mother through this beautiful horse.  While she is strong and protective, she also held me in a nurturing space to connect with my true self, just like a mother does for her children.  Mere was looking after my inner child that day, taking delight in the magic that transpires when you allow your spirit to freely express itself.

No matter your relationship with your own human mother, no matter what needs may or may not have been met by her, the Divine Mother is all around us.  When we connect with nature, her essence can be especially felt.  Whether you’re spending time with an animal companion, or simply hanging out among the trees and flowers, you will discover her nourishing presence.  

I recently stumbled on a page in my journal from the day after I danced with Mere:

To allow what is, to open, to receive, to let rise within you what needs to rise.

To breathe in a moment with complete acceptance of all that is in this world without needing to change a thing. 

And to move within that space of complete acceptance is a powerful place to be.

In the presence of the Divine Mother you will always be accepted for who you are!

Don't Stop the Flow!

When I started practicing Reiki in 2003, I had just taken up candle making.  During the Reiki 2 Class my teacher said that I could infuse the candles with Reiki and share that on the label.  At the time, I remember believing this was way too radical and people would think I was crazy.  What I didn’t realize then was that my teacher was seeing the candles as another outlet through which Reiki can be a healing presence.

As my personal Reiki practice developed in the months that followed, I did find myself using Reiki while making candles and it became a beautiful process.  Making them felt like a meditation in motion.  Whenever I was feeling ungrounded, I turned to candle making with Reiki to get centered and more present in my life.

By the following spring I started casually talking about Reiki to customers at the craft market and discovered that more people had heard about it than I thought, and some had even experienced it.  By the time I became a Reiki master the following year, the word Reiki finally made it onto my labels.  Today, Reiki has become the most important part of my product because the candles are indeed an extension of my healing work just as my teacher envisioned all those years ago.

Last Sunday I presented my line of Chakra candles at a special event for healers and coaches.  One of the attendees shared with me that she had been admiring the aroma of the candle I was burning all day.  Even better though, before she got to my table to check it out, she had stopped to talk to someone and suddenly felt a wave of energy move through her abdomen that felt nourishing and warm.  When she finally made it to my table, she couldn’t believe that the candle I was burning was for the 2nd Chakra which is located at the navel area of the body.

I smiled to myself and offered up a little prayer of gratitude for my teacher seeing the gift of healing in my creativity before I could.

A few clients have recently said to me that they feel their mission in life is to bring more beauty into the world through their creativity, and then in the next sentence they are down playing it as something superficial.  I’ve worked with them on changing their relationship to this mission so they can see how their work is crucial to making the world a better place.

Creativity in all its genres is a radical form of healing.  Creativity ignites new ideas and perspectives.  It invites us to explore what inspires us and what triggers us, what we see and don’t see, what we like and don’t like in contrast to the world around us.  Without creativity we couldn’t evolve as a civilization.  It is healing for both the creator and those experiencing the creation, just as Reiki is healing for both the healer and the one receiving the healing.

Merce Cunningham, a choreographer whose work could at times take one’s imagination out of its comfort zone, once said that a dance piece is not complete without an audience to observe it.

No matter what is currently being created in your life, don’t stop the flow of its expression with self-judgment or be afraid to ever share it with others.  Trust that its purpose will be revealed in right timing even if it’s not clear to you now.  The process and the flow of energy around it is what is most important.  Allow it to carry you into unknown territory because that is where deep healing and transformation take place.

This is where you discover your own unique magic, so enjoy the ride and where it takes you.

Experiencing Resonance in an Empty Gymnasium

A few years ago, my grandmother shared a video she had taken of me dancing alone in a school gymnasium when I was 5 years old.  As I watched my child-self improvising through movement, I was amazed at just how natural dancing came to me at that age, as if it were in my DNA.  Some of the moves even reminded me of the more advanced choreography I'd performed later in my adult life.

It was as if I was already resonating on a cellular level with what was to come.

Being introduced to dance as a child was the first pivotal moment in my life when something was resonating so strongly, I had to take action.  The phenomenon of resonance in physics is when something vibrates at the same or similar frequency of another to initiate movement.

For the next 30 years, dance would be at the center of my life and shape who I am today on so many levels.

In my early thirties, another moment came along that would resonate just as strongly for me as dance did.  It was the moment I was introduced to Reiki.  I had no idea the day I walked into the classroom that my life would be changed forever.  I had simply come to explore something new and learn how to find deeper states relaxation to improve my health and wellbeing.

When I look back on my 5-year-old self as well as where I was at 33, I realize two things.  Dance had awakened me to my natural state of joy and Reiki had awakened me to my natural state of wholeness and wellbeing.  They had each reached in and touched the parts of me that were ready to make a move and experience a transformation.

If you allow it, something magical starts to happen during moments like these.  You say yes not just in your head, but in your heart and even on a cellular level.  In turn, both your inner and outer worlds start to not only resonate with each other, but you start to experience synchronicity.  As people often say, the Universe starts to conspire to help you.

I'm often asked if I get drained by other people's energy when I practice Reiki.  I explain that I am not "doing" the healing or giving them my energy.  Instead I am connecting with the presence of my own true nature and flow of wellbeing which in turn resonates with the recipient's whole and healed self.  This initiates the flow of energy within them that will support the specific healing or transformation that needs to take place for their highest good in that moment.  In fact, most times I step out of a Reiki session feeling rejuvenated.

The transformation of winter into spring is a beautiful example of how resonance and synchronicity work in tandem to support new growth and transformation.

The warmth of the growing sunlight and muddy soil resonate with the seed to inspire it to break open, take root and grow just as it's programed to do in its DNA.  The sun and the mud aren't making the sprout grow, but their nourishing energies inspire it to begin transforming into a plant and support its growth along the way.

The energy of this time of year is about gathering up the inner resources you need for new growth, healing or transformation. In doing so, you begin to attract the outer resources and circumstances that will inspire you and help you to gain momentum in the process. 

In this moment, what energies resonate with your own inner seeds of growth and transformation?
Do you want to feel more balanced and grounded to sustain your mind, body and spirit through the process?

Or do you want to feel expansive and open to receiving the opportunities that will support new growth?

What will motivate you to take consistent and inspired action?

When you greet each day with a clear intention to engage specific energies, that intention will shine through with everything you do.

Having a morning ritual to activate those energies is often helpful.

Dancing for 5 minutes to wake up your mind, body and spirit;

Meditating or doing a short ritual that aligns with those energies  you want to experience; or

Simply placing your hands on your heart and stating how you want to feel all day will help to ignite the energies that will in turn resonate with the outside world.

When your inner space and outer world resonate, synchronicities start to happen, and life flows with ease.

This is the ultimate expression of alchemy and the magic of life itself. 

3 Reasons to Love Where You are Now

In speaking with friends, clients and students over the past several weeks, many have expressed being disappointed with what didn’t get accomplished in 2018.  In listening I’ve noticed one common thread and that is a lack of recognition for what did get accomplished.  While maybe goals weren’t met exactly as planned, the progress people made was in actuality quite significant.  

And, no one seems to be celebrating. . .

Living and working in a culture that’s hyper focused on results leaves little room for enjoying the present moment.  Instead, this underlying feeling of dread if goals aren’t met seems to permeate everything. 

Why is it important to love where you are even if it’s not exactly where you want to be?

1.  Loving where you are opens you to new possibilities.

Loving where you are frees your mind and energy to experience all that is possible in the present moment.  When you’re using up your mental and emotional energy to beat yourself up over going off your diet during the holidays or not making progress on that creative project, your whole being starts to constrict and you limit the possibilities of what you can do in the here and now.  When you are fully in the present and loving all that is good about it, you create an energetic spaciousness to welcome new opportunities, experiences and resources you hadn’t thought of before.  Each day, each moment even, is a clean slate to approach something differently.  When you remember that, then you are free to take your goals in a new direction and with renewed inspiration. 

2.  Loving where you are restores value to your time and energy.

Loving where you are now also reminds you that you are enough and you are worthy just as you are in this very moment.  And, when you own it, you realize you don’t have to do anything to feel worthy.  One of the biggest issues people talk about is that they have too much to do or they overbook their schedules.  That’ been me for the better part of my life.  And while I still keep a very busy schedule, I’ve learned to negotiate my priorities and how I spend my time and energy.  I’ve also learned for myself that I need to build unstructured time into my schedule so I can accomplish things at my own pacing and enjoy the process, and to guard that time on my calendar more than anything else. 

One of the questions I ask myself when I feel like life is getting filled with too much busyness is, “Am I doing all of this to feel good enough?” or “Is this action truly necessary and vital to what I am accomplishing?”  It’s so easy to fill the to-do list but ask yourself if you’re doing these things to please your inner perfectionist and/or to please others instead of yourself.  The more you ask these questions, the more delighted you’ll be to cross things off the to-do list before they even get started.  The gift in all of that is taking back your time and energy for what is truly important to you. 

When you are loving where you are now, even the mundane but necessary things you take care of don’t feel as dreadful.  Everything is done with intention and purpose and in alignment with your values. 

3.  Loving where you are makes life more fun!

Loving where you are makes life less stressful and more fun and pleasurable.  Living in the present diminishes the stress and anxiety that arises when you dwell on what you haven’t accomplished.  In turn you discover there is much more to enjoy than there is to worry about.  Consistently experiencing joy and ease in your day-to-day will not only replenish your energy and focus to accomplish what you desire the most but will increase your creativity and imagination for what is possible at any given moment, seeing beyond the limitations of where you think you should be.

My Reiki practice reminds me each day to return to the present whenever I find myself stressed out or worried about not getting something done.  As I return to center, I not only find myself being more productive but find life to be so much more satisfying.

Do you have goals leftover from 2018 that you want to complete this year?

If so, take a moment to breathe deeply and become aware of the present moment.  What are you feeling, seeing, smelling and hearing in the space you’re in right now.  Take another deep breath into your heart center and say to yourself you are enough just as you are right now. 

In fact, you are more than enough!  You have everything you need within you to accomplish what you want.

Now ask yourself why it’s important for you to complete this goal and how will you feel when you achieve it?

Place your hands on your heart and anchor that feeling into your body.  From that felt place, ask yourself what next step, big or small, can you take to get closer to your goal?  Commit to just that one next step and when you accomplish it, remember to CELEBRATE!

CELEBRATE showing up for yourself.

CELEBRATE the satisfaction of accomplishing something.

CELEBRATE BEING YOU!

When you celebrate, you’ll be inspired to take the next step toward your goal and beyond. 

Gratitude ~ How Does It Help You Heal?

Back in October, in the days and even hours leading up to the Create Ground event that I presented with my Medical Reiki colleague and friend, Genevieve Myers, a series of logistical mishaps took place creating enormous stress for both of us.  Due to situations beyond anyone’s control, people we’d been counting on had to drop out even on the morning of the event.

As this was happening, I could feel my old triggers going off, the ones that activate feelings of being unsupported right when something important is going on in my life.

That morning, as chaos was ensuing, I suddenly felt this inner voice say to me to pull out my gratitude tools and get to work.  With that I took a deep breath and, while preparing for the day, reflected on all the amazing people that were indeed showing up to our event and helping us out.  Just before I left the house, I offered up a prayer of appreciation for each and every one of them.  My students and friends were showing up to volunteer and a friend was stepping up to handle the videotaping and other logistics.  Dr. Feldman, Raven and Lisa were all showing up to give their amazing talks.  And the cancer survivors were showing up to share their personal stories of healing.

Gratitude came to the rescue and gifted me a reality check in a big way!

This was extremely healing for me as it kept me steady and focused on a day when I was stretching myself in a whole new way like never before.

Since that day, I’ve been reflecting on the genuine power of gratitude to heal us in any given moment.

A client of mine who has metastatic cancer commented recently that aside from the cancer she is living with, she is in fantastic health for her age.  This state of wellness despite her disease has enabled her to continue doing many of the things she enjoys doing, including travel.

As a healing tool gratitude changes the focus of the story we create around what happens to us in life.  It deactivates the reptilian part of the brain that points out what is wrong in any given situation and activates our ability to see the bigger picture.  In doing so, we can appreciate life for being so much sweeter than we tend to believe.

As 2019 begins, I’ve decided to bring a new focus to my gratitude practice.  As I observe the moments I feel a sense of lack or unease, I will look around for the situations that remind me those feelings don’t represent the whole truth.  On days I may be feeling a lack of support in my life or a lack of abundance, I will be sure to appreciate the small ways in which I am supported or feel abundant such as someone holding the door for me or my neighbor greeting me with a friendly smile.  I’ll even be sure to appreciate the ways I am generous with others.

Our human nature places ten times more emphasis on what isn’t working than what is working.  It’s no wonder that happiness and wellbeing seem so challenging sometimes.

And yet, gratitude, like a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup, comes in to make us feel whole once again if we allow it.

Are you keeping a gratitude journal or practice this year?

If so, I invite you to take note of how gratitude not only raises your spirits but restores your wellbeing.

What do you feel is lacking in your life?

If it’s good health, reflect on what is working about your health.

If it’s money, reflect on what you do receive and what is working for you in finding new streams of income.

If it’s love, make note of the ways you are already loved or can show love to yourself.

And appreciate all of it.  Because in the end energy flows where the mind goes.  If the mind brings into focus what is working, the flow of energy will bring more of that into your life and at times in miraculous ways!