Poorly Wrapped Gifts from the Universe

 

Shortly after I became a Reiki master, I met someone who I was crazy about.  I remember our first date was getting lemonade and just talking, walking, and laughing in Battery Park until we got kicked out at 3 am.  That was a magical summer as he was the air to my fire.  When the fall arrived, he realized he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship after having left one just before we met.  The disappointment came crashing down and paralyzed me in many ways.  While my intellect understood he wasn’t ready for me, my heart was tired of yet another disappointment. 

I remember my Reiki teacher telling me one day that I may need to begin “healing my relationship to disappointment.”  It took me a while to understand what she meant but eventually I realized it isn’t the disappointments themselves but the stories I make up around life’s disappointments.  Sometimes disappointment would activate my victim, “why me” emotional patterning while other times it gave my false ego a chance to chime in and tell me I’m not worthy.  Then there were the disappointments that fueled my false beliefs around how the world “really works” and forget what your higher self is saying. 

There are many stories we tell ourselves when experiencing disappointment whether the source is another person, a situation, or the world at large.

BUT. . .

Over time I’ve come to learn that those who handle disappointment without self-doubt and false stories see those moments as an invitation to let go and discover a new direction they hadn’t considered before.  I often hear people talk about how grateful they are for those pivotal moments when the universe set them on an even better path than they could have imagined.

For myself, I know that when I examine my own disappointments in the rearview mirror, I am deeply grateful.  To add humor to the process, I will call those disappointments “poorly wrapped” gifts from the universe. 

This year has been full of a lot of personal and collective disappointment.  Not being able to see loved ones, make the plans we’d hoped for, find the opportunities we were seeking, and watching the world become more divided instead of united.  It’s a lot and yet many people I know have shared with me the unexpected blessings and opportunities they’ve received this year.  Not even the chaos of 2020 could stop the flow of abundance they were destined to receive.

There is no switch come midnight that lights up a perfect new world experience nor is there a magic wand to make everything easier and better.  But just as the day gives way to the night, the night in return gives way to the day.  It’s during the transition that we have an opportunity to flip the stories we tell ourselves with an understanding that the past doesn’t have to dictate the future if we shift the mindset and energy we bring to the present.  It’s how we allow the flow of change to emerge in a way that is aligned with soul and not the entangled stories we unconsciously carry in the psyche.

When my heart broke over 15 years ago, I didn’t allow the grief to flow completely because of my own false stories.  In turn, some of that grief stuck with me for way too long.  Disappointment is a part of the equation in life, but it isn’t the destination.  It’s up to us to decide how our relationship to disappointment will work for us and not against us.  Will it just create more inner resistance to receiving future blessings and opportunities? Or will it become a wave that you ride back to the shore so you can see more clearly what’s next on the horizon? 

No matter where your disappointments landed in 2020, how will you capture the good parts about a situation not working out and take them with you into 2021?

How will you define those disappointments instead of letting them define you?

Going into 2021, I’m taking my time to marinate in the energies that will best nourish me in the coming months, prioritizing self-care over making too many commitments.  Winter is the season for the inner work that will best support aligned action throughout the year.  Nature doesn’t just flip a switch come springtime and bloom overnight.  There is a lot of underground work that goes on before the flowers can emerge.  When we do the inner work with patience, self-love, and appreciation, we build the foundation for what we desire to unfold with ease and in perfect timing. 

This is the time to DREAM, BREATHE, and ALLOW.

This is the time to DREAM without limiting what is possible.

This is the time to BREATHE and create space for those possibilities.

This is the time to ALLOW your desires to morph into something new.