There is a growing number of loved ones in my life who have
passed away and as time goes on, there’s been a beautiful shift in how I relate
to their love. The first big loss was my
maternal grandmother. She passed away on
Valentine’s Day 13 years ago. I was in
London visiting my brother at the time and I believe it was her way of always
reminding us how much she loved us.
Each of my closest loved ones who have passed on have a way
of connecting with me from the other side.
The number 919 shows up when my grandmother is reaching out to me. Her birthday was 9/19. With my paternal grandmother, blue jays show
up on my fire escape or follow me around in the park. She loved watching the birds hanging out at
the feeder in her backyard. These are
reminders that I am still loved even if I can’t be with them here on the earth
plane.
When my stepmother, Linda, passed away last spring, she came
to me in a dream and said, “Ladybugs will be our thing. Anytime you see one, remember that I am with
you.” I thought to myself that’s nice,
but I rarely run into ladybugs. There
was that time over a decade ago when one rode the subway on my shoulder and got
off at Columbus Circle, but that’s about it.
The next day I saw a big bright ladybug on the label to a wine bottle and said to
myself, “Very funny Linda.” Then a few
weeks later, as I was walking in the park, a butterfly flew into my face and as
I turned my head, there was a ladybug sitting in the middle of a flower. I would have missed it if the butterfly hadn’t
slammed into me. Last fall, my dad was visiting,
and we were sitting on a bench near the river when a ladybug decided to join
the conversation.
Most recently, I was watching the television show This is
Us (small spoiler alert ahead if you’re not caught up) and the mother,
Rebecca, is recalling a day when the kids were having a tantrum in the car and
a ladybug flew in through the window, immediately transforming the tantrums
into sheer delight. Here’s the kicker. .
. The kids named her Linda the Ladybug.
Linda suffered from Alzheimer’s the last 16 years of her
life. In the final years she was unable
to communicate yet being alone with her in the silence was never difficult. I could still feel the love and joy that was
in her heart. She might have lost her
memories and forgotten her words, but she still remembered love and I could
still experience that with her.
Love is such a powerful force and yet can make us feel so vulnerable.
It serves up so much joy, pleasure, and
passion and is also an elixir to help us heal when we are suffering. In Reiki we work with a mudra called
Gassho. In other practices it’s known as
prayer or namaste position. When we work
with this mudra and breathe into the heart, we begin to restore balance and
harmony within our being. As that
harmony is restored, we can more easily remember with gratitude both the
tangible and intangible expressions of love.
Love is not only found in our personal relationships that
make it easy to be loving, but also in the people who trigger our anger and
fear. When we can remember this, we can
begin to shift how we respond to our most challenging relationships. Love is accessible to every dimension of life,
and it can be called upon to transform any given experience into something
beautiful.
This week I was reflecting on the “recipe” for restoring the
fullest experience of love in our lives and the words grace, compassion and joy
came to mind.
Grace reminds you that you are loved, and you are enough no
matter who you are and what you’ve accomplished. It helps you to cultivate self-love and anchors
a sense of safety within you so you can have the courage to explore your inner
realm. Think of how the cowardly lion in
the Wizard of Oz discovered he always had courage in his heart and grace
bestows this on us when we journey back to love.
Compassion creates space for you to embrace both the light
and the dark. It reminds you that
everything is of the divine. It brings
fluidity to how you perceive yourself and others with kindness. Within the word Compassion there is “Passion”
which inspires you to stay the course as you seek to experience more love in
your life.
Joy is the presence that exists within all dimensions of
life. It is found in the cracks of even
the darkest of places as well as in your happiest moments. It creates a nonresistant space within you to
welcome the fullest expression of love into your life. When joy is fully flowing within you, you can’t
resist love.
Love is everywhere, even when we’re grieving or in a state of fear and worry.
The mind prefers we
stay in the old patterns of “looking for love in all the wrong places”.
The heart encourages us to instead remember love in all the
right places!
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