Opening Doors for Ourselves and Others

Ten years ago a wise friend said to me that the moment you get clear on what you want, the universe can dump a pile of s*!t in your way.  The bigger the dream, the bigger the pile!  The key to manifestation is in overcoming these challenges and obstacles so you can capture the energy, inner and outer resources and space needed for your vision, dream, and goals to manifest.

In my childhood bedroom, I had a poster with a ballet dancer and a quote about how you can do it if you can dream it.  While a seemingly positive affirmation, this quote actually contributed to a negative unconscious belief that something must be wrong with me if I didn’t achieve my goal or that maybe I’m not worthy of success.  What I’ve come to learn throughout my adult life is that dreams and goals aren’t about the outcome.  The true sense of achievement is held within who we become in the process. 

I’ve never had any issues with dreaming up the possibilities of life and marinating in them with enthusiasm.  Both my parents have always encouraged me to try new things and to never be afraid to follow my heart.  I love visiting the realm of all possibility.  It brings clarity when I feel a bit lost, and it opens doors within myself I wasn’t aware of before.  When one of these doorways to my inner realm opens and I can feel my heart sing, magic starts to happen in my outer world and the doors of opportunity begin to fly open. 

At the beginning of the pandemic, I realized I hadn’t been spending nearly enough time in this realm of higher dreams and found myself throwing out all my old vision boards and personal mapping and planning guides I’d created.  I wasn’t giving up on my dreams.  I just needed to give them some space to explore what’s next and give myself a break to enjoy what I’d already set in motion.  Ironically, the more I slowed down, the more the doorways of new opportunities flew open. 

Whenever I ask someone if resources and opportunities were limitless for them, what would they do or create?  It never ceases to surprise me that most people either don’t have an answer of any sort or they immediately come up with a list of reasons why they prefer to go with the flow of life and setting goals is pointless.

Here’s the thing.  Going into the realm of all possibility isn’t about not being in the flow.  If anything, dreaming up the possibilities is about coming into alignment with the flow of life and your true self.  This practice becomes a source of inspiration and a way to find answers when life gets messy, and it’s the key to calling in the right opportunities. 

Where we can get lost in the process of putting a dream or goal into action is when we attach our worth and self-esteem to the outcome, or we try to control the process.  Life does indeed happen when we’re making other plans and embracing that part of the manifestation equation is a lesson in relinquishing total control.  This isn’t solo creation!  It’s co-creation!  That’s why it can feel so magical and it’s important to embrace the process with a sense of curiosity, adventure, and play. 

As the world has watched the unraveling of the Afghan government and the thousands of people fleeing the country to escape the tyranny they could otherwise face, I’ve been reflecting on how there is a generation of young Afghan women who never knew the oppression their mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers experienced.  Over the past twenty years, the doors of opportunity flew open for these women, and they were fearless in following their dreams of becoming artists, scientists, governing officials and much more.  They revolutionized the culture of Afghanistan because in their hearts they always kept the doors of possibility wide open.  They knew all too well what was at stake if they shrunk from their hopes and dreams.

Now those actual doors of opportunity are closing again for the women of Afghanistan, and many are fleeing for their safety and freedom.  As I send healing energy for the entire nation and the safety of everyone involved, I also envision those doors of opportunity remaining open for the women who worked so hard to contribute to the growth of their country and its culture.  Just as we hold the door open for someone, especially when they have their hands full, we can do the same in our hearts for those who are oppressed.

For those of us who live in an open society, the inner and outer challenges we face are often rooted in conditioning from family and society and the stories we tell ourselves about our dreams.  The thing is, they are just that – stories!  Stories are just partial truths of the big picture and when we begin to unravel them, we begin to see they have no power over us. 

Taking a dream from the realm of possibility and breaking through the barriers of our inner and outer challenges takes work, but the kind of work that leaves you feeling full of satisfaction at the end of the day, because all of it was fueled by a sense of possibility that comes only when we keep our inner doors open to opportunities both seen and unseen. 

Plugging Into Your Power Grid

Since last summer, I’ve been participating in an online course for empathic souls with intuitive life strategist, Robert Ohotto.  In one of his numerous in-depth talks, he introduced the concept of plugging into a power grid of light, much like an electrical grid, and invited us to name the power grids that fuel us in a healthy way.  Encouraging us to commit to the practices that plug us into this energy, he later discussed how the dimension of joy permeates all other dimensions and is available to us even in our darkest moments.  We just need to be present long enough for joy to catch up to us.  I also remember hearing the rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks discussing with the Dalai Lama how joy is something we receive in the moments we are fully present in mind, body, and spirit.

Robert also shared how grief is a part of joy and how we're not taught to look at it this way.  The day before I listened to this talk, I had gone for a walk when a butterfly flew into my face in such a way that I turned my head and noticed a ladybug sitting on a flower.  Just before my stepmother passed away in April, she came to me in a dream and said “Ladybugs will be our thing!  Every time you see one, know that I am with you.”  I cried both tears of joy and grief in that moment as I was reminded that we are all connected even when we’re operating in completely different dimensions. 

All throughout these last 18 months, my walks in the park among the trees have been a way to plug into my own power grid and restore my sense of wholeness on the days I feel anxious or sad, but also on the days I feel happy and at peace.  Either way, it’s about being present so joy can entrain you to a higher vibration and create space for everything to unfold with a sense of grace.

In recent months signs have been hung on the trees throughout the parks that say “It’s okay to hug me.”  I also discovered a tree that hugs me back.  It has a nook in the trunk that’s perfect for a human to lean back into and feel held and supported.  When I do that and look up through the leaves, I can feel the warmth and light of the sun on my face and hear the gentle splashing of the water from the lake behind me – the perfect place to plug into my power grid. 

Several years ago, I wrote a waka poem about a tree.  Waka poems are similar to haiku, but with a slightly different stanza structure. 

The Hugging Tree

Tall shade, rooted in

deep stillness, climbing branches

of dreams, arms hugging

an unmoved trunk, its soul wraps

me in a loving embrace.

********

Joy isn’t rooted in what we accomplish, have, or do.  It’s rooted in the right here, the right now! 

All you need to do is plug in and allow it to flow wherever it needs to go to light up your life in powerful ways. 

  

Breaking out and into the Light

 

The sun depicted on Japan’s national flag represents the revered sun goddess Amaterasu.  It is said that the imperial family members are her descendants.  Amaterasu’s mythological story begins with being born from her father’s left eye while her one brother is born out of his right eye and her other brother from his nostrils.  While her father assigns her to rule the sun, her other two brothers are assigned to rule the moon and the storm clouds.  When her first brother’s dark side emerges because the moon’s light reflects the sun and doesn’t shine from within, a family feud ensues. 

Ashamed not only by the actions of her two brothers, but also her own destructive rage, Amaterasu retreats to a cave and blocks the entrance with a boulder, leaving the land in complete darkness for about a year.  After countless attempts by the other kami (divine beings), to coax her out of the cave, Omoikane, the Shinto god of wisdom, decides to appeal to Amaterasu’s curiosity and threw a big party.  The sound of the music and dancing eventually enticed her to return to the mouth of the cave where an eight-fold mirror had been placed to reflect her beauty and light.  In realizing her true light once again, sun was restored to the land. 

Amaterasu’s story has been an inspiration along my personal healing path as the practice of Reiki reminds you to shine your true light in every aspect of life.  As spring emerges after a long and hard year for many, it feels like something is breaking open within the collective and a new energy is emerging that will sustain the transformation to help us heal and evolve.

Just like seeds planted in the dark earth, there’s a desire to break open our shells to welcome the sun back into our lives.  However, for some the moment of breaking open can be the hardest part.  I know for myself, while I love change and growth, the initial pivot hasn’t always been the easiest.  I remember when I first left home, I would cry every time I said good-bye to my parents.  Yet, once my bus hit the highway, I would be fine.  It was a time of transition from childhood to my adult life and I knew life was never going to be the same.  Yet, I was also looking forward to what the future had in store.

Deciding it's time for a change is one thing but making the first move can indeed feel like you are breaking open.  When embracing life’s number one rule that the only constant is change, sometimes there’s no choice but to allow the shell that keeps you contained to break open.

It can mean shedding the parts that once kept you feeling safe but as you emerge from the container of safety you learn just how bright your light is meant to shine not only for you, but for those around you.  Every sprout has its vulnerability, but as the unshakable light of the sun continues to coax it to keep growing, it eventually transforms into a strong plant.  When we break open and allow the light of our true nature to shine, we know that no matter how uncertain life may feel, the cycle of rebirth will always come back around.

Permission to Shine On

On the afternoon of November 5^th last year, I began facilitating a distance Reiki healing for a friend and longtime member of the Reiki community here in NYC.  A few days prior, David informed me he had COVID and was struggling with a high fever.  As I started the healing session, something felt off and the energy wasn’t flowing like it usually does.  Instead, I felt his presence with me in the room alongside our Reiki teacher, the late Margaret Ann Case.  A vision of him smiling and feeling free kept showing up in my mind.

I immediately contracted inside and told myself this was just fear getting in the way and continued to facilitate the Reiki as best as I could.  When I reach out to David afterwards to check in with him, he didn’t pick up the phone.  In the weeks that followed, my calls and texts went unanswered and so I told myself he must be in the hospital getting the care he needed.

As the holidays grew closer and his phone was disconnected, the reality set in and I began looking online to see if I could track down a possible family member. 

It turns out David had just transitioned to the other side of life when I was transmitting the distance Reiki.  My soul knew the truth and was trying to inform me, but I wasn’t ready to receive the sad news.

David was a quiet soul and person of few words when he joined us at the Reiki Circles.  However, receiving Reiki from him was a powerful experience because those were the moments when he allowed his soul to fully shine through without hesitation.  As I shared the news of his passing in early January, people would reach out and say, “Do you mean that David who had the hottest hands in the room?  What a wonderful experience!”

Grieving the loss of a fellow traveler on the Reiki journey is never easy.  David was there from the beginning of my journey and we’ll continue to share it together but in a different way.  When I think of him, there is a beautiful sense of joy, love and freedom and it brings me so much peace in knowing this. 

This experience was a clear reminder that the soul always knows the truth and eventually, when we’re ready, that truth will be revealed. 

The energies around the full moon in Leo this week are extending a celestial invitation to create space for soul to reveal its truth with clarity.  Leo is all about uninhibited self-expression and allowing your true light to shine.  This regal archetypal energy honors and takes joy in the unique unfolding of your higher self. 

The great lion is seeded in all of us and, through the luminous light of this full moon, it is giving you permission to shine and be seen in whatever way that feels perfect for you.

For David, one of the ways his light shined the brightest was when he facilitated in the flow of Reiki.

In what aspects of life does your soul long to illuminate its light the most?  Check in with yourself this week and ask. 

With hopefully the last stretch of this chaos cycle winding down, now is a great time to contemplate where your soul most desires to shine on as we emerge.

Soul never lies.  Even if you don’t understand the answers right away, trust that the truth will become crystal clear when you are ready. 

Poorly Wrapped Gifts from the Universe

 

Shortly after I became a Reiki master, I met someone who I was crazy about.  I remember our first date was getting lemonade and just talking, walking, and laughing in Battery Park until we got kicked out at 3 am.  That was a magical summer as he was the air to my fire.  When the fall arrived, he realized he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship after having left one just before we met.  The disappointment came crashing down and paralyzed me in many ways.  While my intellect understood he wasn’t ready for me, my heart was tired of yet another disappointment. 

I remember my Reiki teacher telling me one day that I may need to begin “healing my relationship to disappointment.”  It took me a while to understand what she meant but eventually I realized it isn’t the disappointments themselves but the stories I make up around life’s disappointments.  Sometimes disappointment would activate my victim, “why me” emotional patterning while other times it gave my false ego a chance to chime in and tell me I’m not worthy.  Then there were the disappointments that fueled my false beliefs around how the world “really works” and forget what your higher self is saying. 

There are many stories we tell ourselves when experiencing disappointment whether the source is another person, a situation, or the world at large.

BUT. . .

Over time I’ve come to learn that those who handle disappointment without self-doubt and false stories see those moments as an invitation to let go and discover a new direction they hadn’t considered before.  I often hear people talk about how grateful they are for those pivotal moments when the universe set them on an even better path than they could have imagined.

For myself, I know that when I examine my own disappointments in the rearview mirror, I am deeply grateful.  To add humor to the process, I will call those disappointments “poorly wrapped” gifts from the universe. 

This year has been full of a lot of personal and collective disappointment.  Not being able to see loved ones, make the plans we’d hoped for, find the opportunities we were seeking, and watching the world become more divided instead of united.  It’s a lot and yet many people I know have shared with me the unexpected blessings and opportunities they’ve received this year.  Not even the chaos of 2020 could stop the flow of abundance they were destined to receive.

There is no switch come midnight that lights up a perfect new world experience nor is there a magic wand to make everything easier and better.  But just as the day gives way to the night, the night in return gives way to the day.  It’s during the transition that we have an opportunity to flip the stories we tell ourselves with an understanding that the past doesn’t have to dictate the future if we shift the mindset and energy we bring to the present.  It’s how we allow the flow of change to emerge in a way that is aligned with soul and not the entangled stories we unconsciously carry in the psyche.

When my heart broke over 15 years ago, I didn’t allow the grief to flow completely because of my own false stories.  In turn, some of that grief stuck with me for way too long.  Disappointment is a part of the equation in life, but it isn’t the destination.  It’s up to us to decide how our relationship to disappointment will work for us and not against us.  Will it just create more inner resistance to receiving future blessings and opportunities? Or will it become a wave that you ride back to the shore so you can see more clearly what’s next on the horizon? 

No matter where your disappointments landed in 2020, how will you capture the good parts about a situation not working out and take them with you into 2021?

How will you define those disappointments instead of letting them define you?

Going into 2021, I’m taking my time to marinate in the energies that will best nourish me in the coming months, prioritizing self-care over making too many commitments.  Winter is the season for the inner work that will best support aligned action throughout the year.  Nature doesn’t just flip a switch come springtime and bloom overnight.  There is a lot of underground work that goes on before the flowers can emerge.  When we do the inner work with patience, self-love, and appreciation, we build the foundation for what we desire to unfold with ease and in perfect timing. 

This is the time to DREAM, BREATHE, and ALLOW.

This is the time to DREAM without limiting what is possible.

This is the time to BREATHE and create space for those possibilities.

This is the time to ALLOW your desires to morph into something new. 

Looking to the Horizon

 

Last weekend I watched the film, The Glorias, based on Gloria Steinem’s autobiography, My Life on the Road.  While there is so much more to Steinem’s life as an activist, feminist, and journalist than the film could possibly include in 2-1/2 hours, I was moved by the way it captured her inner dialogue with four different versions of herself.  In between the film’s segments that danced back and forth between her past and present, black and white scenes would take place on a bus where she would have different conversations between her young child self, teenage self, younger adult self and her older self.  They would hold court on the twists and turns she would take and the decisions she made along the way to lead a life that challenged societal expectations of women. 

At one point in the film she interviews her teenage self as if she’s a host on a TV talk show.  Her inner teenager describes her dreams of going to Hollywood and then settling down to get married, have three children, either a boxer or a golden retriever, a house decked out with a dance floor among other things and a convertible.  Then she pauses, looks at Gloria and asks why she isn’t married . . .

This moment struck me, because how many of us could look back on our original childhood dreams that were seeded without realizing all the twists and turns that would unfold us in ways beyond what we could imagine.  My teenage self would have given me a puzzled look if she found out what I do today, but when I think about everything that interested me outside my initial childhood dreams, being drawn to the mystical aspects of life and having natural sensitivities that felt more like a weakness than a strength, it all makes sense.  In having these conversations with my inner child, I’ve come to understand that becoming who your soul came here to be sometimes means letting go of the original dreams and expectations you placed on a younger version of yourself.

Whenever I hear someone in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond say, “I’m still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up,” I sense a certain self-imposed expectation that they need to have their life figured out in a way that passes some kind of approval rating by society.  To that I say, “None of us have it figured it out.  That is why we are here to begin with.”  Each of us came into this life with a soul contract to learn something and engage with what we learn to contribute to the greater whole.  The circumstances in which we are born, the blessings and challenges we experience along the way and our own internal knowing help to reveal what that contract means to each of us.

This chaos cycle initiated by the events of 2020 is in many ways an invitation for the dreams and expectations of the collective to be released to allow for the next stage of humanity’s evolution.  These last weeks of the year hold some beautiful opportunities for each of us to begin our own inner work to contribute to the collective shifts that will be unfolding in the years ahead.

A new moon solar eclipse on December 14^th is inviting each of us to recognize and begin shedding the expectations and beliefs we’ve placed on ourselves that keep us small and in turn reignite our passions in a whole new way.  Then on December 21^st for the Winter Solstice, Saturn and Jupiter come so close to each other that they will appear as one giant star in the sky just a few days after each of them enters Aquarius.  Jupiter carries the archetypal energies of expansion and optimism while Saturn presents us with an energy that keeps us grounded and practical.  Every twenty years these two planets come together in this manner to usher in a new generation, so to speak, but this time around they are also ushering in a whole new era.  This 20-year meeting of the planets has been taking place in the earth signs for the past 200 years and now they will be meeting in the air signs for generations to come, building on an energy of equality and collective unity. 

Two of the most magical moments in a day are at sunrise and sunset - when the night surrenders to the day and the day surrenders to the night in return.  As we look to the horizon of this next 20-year cycle, these last weeks of 2020 are an invitation to begin healing from the deferred dreams, disappointments and losses, and look with courage to the mystery of what comes next, having faith in yourself that everything you need is already within you and the road ahead will be revealed in right timing. 

Gazing on the World with Love

Every year during the first two weeks of November, I try my best to work my schedule around the weather forecast to make sure I find time to spend in nature on the days the sun is shining.  There is this magical window between 3 and 4:30 pm when everything turns gold. This year while I was bicycling through Central Park at that hour and basking in this gorgeous light, it felt like the universe was casting a loving gaze on me and the rest of the world.  Out of the blue, the Jackie Wilson song, “Higher and Higher” popped into my head.  Usually when this happens, I receive it as a message from spirit.  As I reflected on the lyrics, “Your love keeps lifting me higher than I’ve ever been lifted before,” it was a reminder that when we tap into the eternal love that shines within us, everything flows with ease and our spirits can be lifted in an instant.

Later that week, as I was running some errands, I found myself smiling at everyone I saw on the street as I passed by.  I realized though, that no one could see my smile underneath my mask!  I wondered how many people would “feel” the energy of my smile instead.  In the practice of Reiki, we don’t just transmit the flow of energy through our hands, but also through our eyes.  I decided in that moment to continue smiling at everyone I passed, and to also consciously transmit this universal love energy through my eyes.  It didn’t matter to me if we made eye contact, or they even knew I was smiling at them.  I was simply committing to gaze on the world with love, just like the sun, without needing anything in return.

On Halloween this year, I created an altar to my ancestors and placed pictures of my grandparents and other loved ones who are now on the other side.  When I took a picture of the altar, an orb of light appeared right over a photo of my Papa Bromage reading to me as a baby.  This tiny round light centered itself right over my heart.  It reminded me of E.T’s heartlight. 

Remembering our true light and the essence of love that exists within us is probably the greatest gift we can give ourselves and the world this holiday season.  It’s what makes life a mystical, magical journey, especially in times when we might not know what’s next.  It’s a reminder that when we believe in a loving universe, it responds with love in return.