When the Body Catches Up with the Spirit

Have you ever been told you are too sensitive?  Throughout my childhood and well into adulthood I have been told I am too sensitive and 2020 is teaching me how to own it in a whole new way. 

Being told I was too sensitive didn’t make me less sensitive, it just created a patterned response of silencing the messages my emotions and body were giving me.  Between adults telling me to shake things off and my dance training encouraging me to push through the physical pain to build strength and flexibility, I compensated for my discomfort by working harder. 

On January 16^th of this year, I was officially diagnosed with celiac disease.  Because of my age, this “later-in-life” diagnosis means that it is progressed and the lining in my small intestine will take a couple of years to heal.  For those who don’t know about celiac disease, it’s a condition where the body reacts to gluten by breaking down the lining of the small intestine.  Untreated, it can lead to other autoimmune disorders.  When I was a child, I suffered from migraines and swollen adenoids which can be symptoms of celiac disease.  I also struggled to concentrate and focus and so worked twice as hard to get good grades.  I remember spacing out during reading class in third grade and my teacher humiliating me for it in front of all the other students. 

Looking back now, the signs were always bubbling under the surface, but celiac disease wasn’t well known at the time.  I had a male doctor once tell me my chronic anemia was because I am a menstruating woman.  The psoriasis on my foot was treated with steroid creams without any other exploration into why this was appearing out of nowhere in my late twenties.  Then there was the episode of “food poisoning” that landed me in the hospital. 

In recent years other chronic issues have crept up and I decided to see a functional medicine doctor who would connect the dots and not just treat symptoms.  After taking the time to ask questions about my entire life’s history, she ordered the bloodwork that revealed the genetic marker and antibodies for celiac disease.  All it took was her listening and exploring the bigger picture.

The GI doctor who performed the diagnostic endoscopy said to me that at least I got to enjoy gluten for an extra ten to twenty years.  I was stunned by her words because I never enjoyed gluten foods like bread, bagels and pasta.  In fact, I rarely ate them because I usually felt terrible after.  Instead, I was grieving the fact that I had gone through most of my life pushing past my symptoms not realizing they were pointing to something wrong with my health.

In energy medicine the small intestine is connected to the Sacral Chakra which engages your capacity to be nourished not just by food but by your life experiences.  Learning Reiki led me down a path of emotional and spiritual healing that has restored my relationship to what makes me a highly sensitive person and accept it as a strength instead of a perceived weakness.  This work has helped me to forgive the past and forge new patterns to support myself and other empaths so we can continue to feel nourished in life instead of depleted.

This return to energetic wholeness has come full circle and now my physical body is being given a chance to catch up to my spirit.  My health requires me to take ownership of my physical sensitivities just as much as my spirit invited me to take ownership of my emotional sensitivities.  In many ways, this new limitation is setting me free to advocate for myself like I never could in the past. 

As unity and cooperation in slowing down the spread of COVID-19 are being embraced around the world, it occurs to me that we are all catching up to the collective soul of humanity.  There is a deep longing in people to feel part of an interconnected whole.  Many of the conflicts around the world are ultimately rooted in a fear of being rejected, left out, left behind or falling behind whether it be in finances, health, safety or general happiness and fulfillment.  This virus is teaching us that when we cooperate for the greater whole, we discover a new level of appreciation and respect for one another.  In limiting our personal freedoms in the short term, we are helping to set the world free of this virus and perhaps establish a foundation for a better tomorrow where no one is left behind by society. 

Every night at 7 pm, I hear the ever-growing roar of people cheering and clapping for all the essential workers risking their wellbeing to serve people’s basic needs and safety.  On my block we now have the dogs barking alongside and a tuba player! 

Being forced to isolate is an opportunity to reflect on what matters most.  When we emerge, will it be with a sense of unity and appreciation for our fellow human beings and the earth?  We will be forever changed by this virus and the gift in that is the opportunity to lay the foundation for what we want this changed tomorrow to look like. 

Creating Heaven on Earth

A long-time client of mine recently sent me a photo showing how she repurposed the glass jar from a candle she purchased last year and is now using it as a planter.  I was delighted by this not only for practical reasons but because it was the purple tinted jar from the 7^th Chakra candle.  The 7^th Chakra resides at the top of the head and is the gateway to the spirit realm and our relationship to the all-encompassing energy of the universe. 

I love how the roots of my customer’s plant can be seen through the glass.  In recent weeks I’ve been inspired to place crystals relating to the 7^th Chakra (i.e., amethyst and selenite) below my clients’ feet to create a pathway for a higher vibration to be anchored or “rooted” into the physical body. 

Three-dimensional existence makes it is easy to forget everything that happens underneath the surface of life to enable the creation process to even begin.  A seed of a dream needs courage to break open and reach into unknown territory.  In the beginning, there is uncertainty and vulnerability before a dream or vision can establish roots.  Along the way there can be tears of both frustration and joy, obstacles to overcome and victories to be celebrated, setbacks that test one’s resolve and momentum to be gained.  My customer’s picture of the roots being revealed was a beautiful reminder of how much unseen activity takes place before a dream or vision can emerge. 

Every sentient being is an interactive channel of life-force energy and thus a co-creator with the universe.  If you have a dream or vision, how you channel the energy flowing through you will determine your satisfaction with the co-creation process no matter the outcome.  Desire, passion, faith in yourself and the universe and curiosity all help with staying the course when meeting challenges along the way. 

Having a dream that excites you is a calling from spirit or your higher self, asking you to create a little more heaven on earth.  Sometimes dreams can manifest in a flash, just as some plants spring up seemingly overnight under the right circumstances.  Other dreams require more time (and patience) in the unseen darkness of the soil before the roots are strong enough to anchor the vision into reality.  Having a support system is important because those callings often mean overcoming both inner and outer obstacles and resistance.  When the negative self-talk and frustration arise, taking ownership of your worthiness enables you to get curious about those challenges instead of letting them take you down.  When a plant encounters a rock in its trajectory of growth, it doesn’t give up and revert into a seed.  Instead it redirects its growth.  If its environmental conditions are challenging, the plant concentrates its resources which often results in deeper color, fragrance or flavor.  The same holds true when it comes to nurturing a dream.  Obstacles aren’t there to stop you, but to help you heal and experience the fullness of your gifts along the way. 

More than ever people worldwide are waking up to the need for restoring harmony to mother earth.  Inventors and scientists are developing new technologies to rebalance nature’s ecosystems.  Whether by choice or necessity, individuals are striking out on their own, taking paths less travelled to become solopreneurs and discovering the gifts they can share to make the world a better place.  There are examples of new leadership that inspire communities to support each other. 

There are many unknowns when the seeds of dreams are planted, yet with each seed there is also a window of opportunity for heaven to anchor its light on earth and promote an ever evolving individual and collective consciousness.  

In what ways do your dreams create a little more heaven on earth?

What’s in Your Love Corner?

When my cat Gracie moved in over 8 years ago, I was struck by how she immediately made herself at home, acting as if she’d lived in the apartment her whole life.  Despite having spent her first 18 months on the streets and in 2 different homes, she just trusted she would be okay wherever she was.  Because cats are also sensitive to energy, I took this to mean that my apartment, as humble as it is, had good vibes.

Gracie’s open-hearted nature is quite unusual for cats coming from circumstances like hers.  Whenever I hold her, I can feel her heart light up just like ET’s heart-light.  One thing I noticed though was that Gracie, with all her affection, was not a lap cat.  She would hang out next to you but never wanted to be on your lap.  That is, until I made some changes in my living room. 

A few years back it was time to do some deep clearing in my home and I got rid of some old furniture.  One piece was an old trunk that originally served as my childhood toy box.  When I moved to NYC, I painted it and put cushions on it to leverage as both storage and seating.  I knew it was time to let it go and replaced it with a comfy chair.

When I purchased the chair, I envisioned it to be a place to relax, read and watch TV.  However, I got more than I bargained for because it also became the chair that transformed Gracie into a lap cat.  As soon as you sit in that chair, Gracie takes a flying leap into your lap, makes herself at home and will sit there for hours if you let her.  She purrs, naps and encourages you to pet her. 

One day I remembered that, according to feng shui, the chair is also in the love corner* of my living room and can’t help but wonder if Gracie is somehow aware of it too.  Whenever I need a little love and affection, I know now to take a time out in the love corner and Gracie will remind me of the infinite love that is always available in any given moment. 

After my grandmother passed on Valentine’s Day 11 years ago, my heart chakra split open as my mother, brother and I cleared out her apartment.  During those 2 days, whenever I was in the apartment, waves of energy poured through my heart and it was because of all the love infused between those four walls.  She lived in a subsidized apartment building without anything fancy in her home, but all the memories of the love she shared had transformed it into a sanctuary for us. 

Whether you’ve lived in your home for decades or just a day, whether it’s luxurious or a humble NYC walk-up, take a look around and make note of what you appreciate most about it and what “sparks joy” to quote Marie Kondo.  How can you highlight the aspects of your life that mean the most to you in your home?  

What can you place in your love corner that reminds you of the love that’s always available to you and that you share with others in return?

For me, each time Gracie hangs with me in our special chair, I can feel both our heart chakras open and remember that love is infinite and always present no matter what else is happening.  

 

*NOTE:  The love corner is the far-right corner of your home when you enter the front door or the far-right corner from the entrance to a room.  

Learning to Bless the Mess

From my earliest recollections of childhood, my mother would invite me to join her in the kitchen when she cooked.  I have a distinct memory of the first batch of brownies she made with me and her guiding my hand as we leveled the cup of flour together with a spatula.  The kitchen was probably the happiest room in our home.  It was a place where we could create something together and enjoy the results.

As a teenager, I would sometimes cook a meal on my own and to both my parents’ chagrin, I would make a huge mess instead of cleaning up as I went.  I just couldn’t stop the flow of what I was doing and preferred to clean up at the end instead.  After a while, I think they learned to just avoid the kitchen while I played chef. 

I remember one day, though, when I was on break from college, my dad walked into the kitchen to find me slapping pasta on the new kitchen cabinets to see if it was done.  I suspect his blood pressure was as high as the spaghetti dangling from the upper cabinet door.  My mother was trained as a surgeon nurse at Mt. Sinai Hospital and so I like to think her discipline to clean up as she cooked originated from her education.  When it came to the home, she had a specific way of doing everything down to the smallest of details. 

At the end of 2019, I was feeling a bit stressed by the year-end mess in my own home.  Due to some unexpected twists and turns, I just couldn’t find the time to clean like I usually do over the holidays.  I like my home to be in order and decorated in time for the Winter Solstice. 

On New Year’s Eve, I meditated on how I was stepping into 2020, this big new decade, with unfinished business from my past and how my home was reflecting this.  As my mind released its grip on the stress and overwhelm, I felt a wave of compassion for myself rise within me just as I would for any of my Reiki clients feeling this way.  Healing isn’t about fixing what you think is wrong with you, but instead about meeting yourself with love and blessing where you are, mess and all. 

There really is no magic switch come midnight January 1^st that turns us into brand new people with all these great new habits and goals that make us better.  Each breath you take is a new beginning from which you evolve, from which your energy flows and from which your mind can change its focus. 

What 2020 is teaching me so far is that sometimes life needs to get messy for you to discover a new layer of wholeness.  Just like creating a delicious meal, sometimes the kitchen needs spaghetti hanging off the cabinets and sauce on the floor for the best possible outcome.  And then at other times, you have the luxury to clean up as you go. 

My resolution for this next decade is to mindfully bless the messes in my life, to fully embrace those times when I can’t clean up as I go.  I will meditate with the unfolded pile of laundry next me and do yoga on my unvacuumed rug, remembering that with each breath I have a choice to allow the energy to take me where I am meant to be.  In turn, these practices will help me face some of life’s bigger messes.

If you entered 2020 with some of your own lingering messes, take a moment to bless them and honor where you are.  I am always reminding myself that nothing is permanent, and no matter what is happening today, your next course is being prepared in the kitchen of life. 

8 Tools for Empaths to Manage their Energy During the Holidays

For anyone who identifies with being an empath, the holidays can come around each year with a mixed bag of stress.  It’s not just about the booked calendars, deadlines and extra activities, but it’s also about coping with the external energies that can throw an empath off balance.  Empaths are like sponges, mopping up the energy in their environment and with the heightened energy of the holidays, they can get saturated quickly.  Setting clear internal and external boundaries are crucial for an empath to maintain their wellbeing and happiness any time of year, but especially during the holiday season. 

Here are some tools to consider if you’re an empath and, even if you don’t identify as an empath, these tools are great for just about anyone who is finding themselves stressed right about now. 

1.  Be realistic about expectations you place on yourself.  Manage your expectations for what can be accomplished without killing yourself.  Often the usual to-do list takes on a life of its own with personal and professional expectations during the last weeks of the year.  As empaths we often want to please others and go the extra mile, but this may be the time to activate your inner slacker whenever possible and send your inner perfectionist on a well-deserved vacay.  You of course want to meet your responsibilities and do a good job but evaluate what items can wait or what doesn’t need to be perfect.  Believe it or not, being half-assed at certain things can create surprisingly good results, just in a different way sometimes. 

2.  Make an exit strategy when RSVP’ing to the obligatory holiday parties.  If you dread the annual office holiday party or similar social occasions, think about ways you can attend without getting drained by the extra socializing.  These occasions can often involve spending extra time with people who already drain your energy, so be mindful of how you can limit your exposure.  Maybe scope out a person you worked well with on a project and get to know them more.  Or, attend the party early and have a reason to leave before everyone starts crowding in.  While you may feel the need to attend in order to develop your professional relationships, you don’t necessarily have to stay the whole time.  Know your limits and then have a plan to bow out.  If you find you must stay longer than you’d like, find ways to take short breaks like stepping outside to get some air. 

3.  The white lie that isn’t really a lie.  When saying “No, I can’t because I have other plans,” and the plans are to stay at home, that isn’t really a lie.  Honor your need to have time at home for self-care.  You don’t need to explain your no.  Simply say no without explanation.  It leaves little wiggle room for someone to talk you out of your decision or cross your boundaries.  Saying no is just as much a gift to others as saying yes.  Saying yes when you want to say no is not only dishonoring yourself, it can leave you unfairly resenting those around you.  And if you have to say no even when you really want to say yes, look for alternative ways you can accommodate a request or invitation.  If you regret saying yes to something, make note of it for next time.  Taking responsibility for the decisions you make can be extremely empowering when you’re an empath. 

4.  Manage your triggers around family.  Over the years I’ve noticed some of my students and clients looking at going home for the holidays as a test for how far they have grown in their self-awareness.  To quote Tolstoy, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  Empaths often grew up with dysfunctional family dynamics and can be triggered by hostility or negativity in the room even when it’s not being directed at them.  Their reflex is to try and neutralize a situation even at the cost of their own sense of ease and well-being.  When going home for the holidays, look for ways you can take breaks from the group dynamic by going for a walk, reading a book, playing with the family pets or the younger children.  Also suggest activities that will take everyone’s attention off each other and on something else.  Volunteering as a family at a soup kitchen or a toy or coat drive can bring meaning to the occasion and be a reminder of the true spirit of the holiday season.  You could also get tickets for the family to attend a holiday show at the local community theater. 

5.  Do something creative or crafty like baking, making ornaments, etc.  Working with your hands calms anxiety and focuses your whole being on the present moment.  The hands are an extension of the heart.  There are literally channels of energy that run from the heart and into the palms of the hands, so making something with your hands is a way of sharing your love with others.  It’s also a great way to calm your heart in return.  When you work with your hands, your mind, body and spirit are fully engaged, and this helps you feel more grounded.  There are tons of craft ideas out there even if you don’t see yourself as a crafty person - coloring, painting, pottery, knitting, cooking, baking, making candles, lotions and soaps.  There’s lots to choose from, so make that trip to your local craft store and let yourself get lost in the aisles to see what resonates for you. 

6.  Prioritize your inner circle.  Make the people who mean the most to you and leave you feeling uplifted your top priority.  It can be easy to get caught up in the social obligations that we forget to schedule time with the people who make us laugh and love us for all our silly quirks.  So even if it’s a coffee or lunch date before you head out of town, make sure to schedule time with your besties.  Some of my best friends live far away and so we’ll schedule a phone visit over coffee either just before or after the holidays to catch up on each other’s lives knowing it’s going to be an hour plus conversation. 

7.  Slow down on the alcohol and sugar consumption.  Alcohol and sugar are in abundance at the holidays and it can be tempting when you’re low on energy or stressed out to reach for one or the other or both.  One of the best ways to manage your energy and stress is to cut back on the booze and sweets.  I find that sugar cravings are a clue that the body is trying to get grounded.  Make sure you get enough protein (lean and plant-based are best), greens and root vegetables.  A little unsweetened cacao will also help curb the sugar cravings.

8.  Don’t abandon your daily rituals.  This one can be seriously challenging for me.  Having a morning ritual has been an important part of helping me stay focused and energized throughout the day.  All year long I do everything I can to stay true to these rituals, so even when I fall off track during the holidays, it’s easy to get back on the saddle.  Don’t beat yourself up if you drop off, but also be aware of it and get back on track as soon as you can.

I often refer to myself a recovering empath and it’s taken a lot of work and self-awareness to not slip completely back into my old patterning.  What I’ve learned on this journey so far is that it’s critical to “stay in my lane” and not take on other people’s issues or emotions.  This has helped me to both restore my personal power and deepen my state of compassion for those around me.  Taking on other people’s heavy emotions and challenges doesn’t give them the energetic space they need to learn, grow and heal in their own way and timing that is right for them.  I love the visual of being a lighthouse.  A lighthouse stands tall and strong and shines its light.  It doesn’t try and chase the boats down and direct them on where to go.  If they did, then their light couldn’t shine as far and wide as it does. 

Discovering the language for what it means to be an empath enlightened me on the unconscious emotional patterning I’d been carrying around for most of my life.  It’s been a deeply rooted part of who I am for so long that shifting this energetic patterning has required consistency, patience and most importantly self-love.  My empathic nature may never completely disappear, but when I become aware of it, I can recognize more quickly what I need to do to manage my energy. 

Whether you’re an empath or simply stressed out this holiday season, gift yourself the space you need to explore your energetic needs.  It’s a gift that will keep on giving throughout the entire year.

The Receiving Tree

What I love most about this time of year is how there is a golden essence infusing everything in the mid to late afternoon and yet at the same time, the light creates these dramatic shadows.  On days when I can make it to the park, I find myself walking in a meditative state, soaking in this beautiful essence.  It feels like I’m storing it in my body, like the squirrels stashing away their nuts for the winter.

This year, a tree caught my eye as I was noticing the dark, twisty shadows of the different tree trunks and branches.  I was seeing the shadow of what looked like someone standing with their arms open and receiving the light shining down.  I smiled as I looked at the tree’s two beautiful branches that curved wide open like the bottom of a heart, ready to receive all the blessings of the universe.  

I thought to myself that this is the opposite of the tree in Shel Silverstein’s book, The Giving Tree, and so I named her the Receiving Tree.  When you think about how much unconditional nurturing trees offer us, you can’t help but feel loved.  They give us oxygen, support, grounding and shade.  Their core is strong and unaffected by the children and critters who love to climb them or nest in them.  They release their leaves each year to fertilize the earth for new growth.  

Yet, trees also know how to receive.  Their roots grow deep into the soil, creating a whole network for receiving nourishment, water and stability.  They draw in the energy of the sun to support the growth of their leaves.  They know how to provide for themselves so they can give unconditionally to others.

Part of the journey to wholeness is becoming aware of where your energy is flowing at any given moment.  It’s about knowing when you are giving of your energy or discharging it and why, as well as when you are open to receiving.  When there is a balanced flow, there is a sense of grace and appreciation.  Mastery comes with knowing when you need to preserve your energy and when you're being called to expend it.  

Nature is currently preparing to preserve her energy for the winter months.  We see the rustling and hustling to gather up the reserves to get through the darkest and coldest months.  There is both an airiness and a fire to this preparation, a letting go and a gathering.  This has me reflecting on what is not only ready to be shed in my own life, but also on what energy from this year I am carrying with me into the next cycle of growth.

For myself, this means making a list of everything I appreciate about what has taken place, both the blessings and the heartaches.  But it also means becoming clearly aware of where my focus is and learning to differentiate between my desires and my decisions.  Desire is always going to be there, but once you decide, there is a sense of commitment and the universe will start to challenge you to keep that commitment.  Opportunities will flow your way that both honor your decision and challenge you to stay true to your authentic self.  

I’ve come to realize that the concept of manifesting your best life isn’t so much about desire but about clearly knowing what the right next step is for you and deciding it’s now or never.  I already feel the energies of next year stirring the cosmic pot.  More than ever, as we awaken to a higher perspective, we are going to be challenged to make clearer decisions on the direction we’re each headed, the light we are carrying and the energy we are sharing to live in alignment with our values.

The Giving Tree has been a controversial children’s book from the day it was written because of its depiction of a co-dependent relationship between a boy and a female tree.  While I have mixed thoughts about this controversy, each time I walk by my Receiving Tree now, I become more receptive to the inner and outer energy at play.  I connect within to see how much light I am carrying with me that day, how much am I open to receiving and how much am I able to give.

Curiousity and Resilience

As a young child, I was always wandering off and getting lost.  My parents would probably tell you these incidents are responsible for many of their grey hairs as they got older.  One of the most memorable instances of this happened when I was four years old and joined a school field trip to the beach.  My mom was uneasy about it with me being so young, but she and my dad also wanted me to start socializing with other children before beginning kindergarten later that year.

When the school bus returned hours late, my mom was frantic.  Sure enough, I was the cause for the hang-up because I had wandered off from the group and they couldn’t find me.  I also returned sporting a severe sun burn . . .

Looking back on my child self and how she loved to wander off and explore, I realize curiosity is a natural part of who I am.  As an adult, I now enjoy “getting lost” in my creativity and learning about new ideas and concepts. 

Curiosity has also become an important healing tool to for cultivating personal resilience.  When something you hope for doesn’t work out, disappointment can be overwhelming and take you down.  For me, as an older child and well into my adult life, I mistook my failures and disappointments as a reflection of my value and self-worth.  Curiosity has taught me how to restore my self-confidence by drawing on the valuable lessons and insights that come with failure and disappointment.

My daily Reiki meditation and self-care practice has shown me that no matter what is happening in my life, I am worthy just as I am.  This has helped me to release the self-doubt I had been carrying around for decades.  Success is the result of consistently showing up with the energy and focus your dream, goal or vision requires of you.  Sometimes it takes longer to achieve than you originally plan or comes together in an unexpected way.  Drawing on the energy of curiosity will sustain your faith throughout the process and elevate your perspective when it comes to the bigger picture. 

Like a child wandering off to explore, curiosity is always there to serve you when you are contemplating a new idea or vision.  It’s also there to support you when you are in the messy thick of things and unsure of what is next.  And, when you are at the end of accomplishing something, curiosity is there to inspire the next desire, dream or vision.

Each of us has come into this life to learn something, to have a question or series of questions answered.  Whether or not you are aware of it, this curiosity is what draws or attracts you to many of the experiences you’ve already had.  When I reflect on where my dreams have steered me since childhood, I am crystal clear that my soul came here to explore how mysticism can be experienced within the three-dimensional realm to both heal the mind, body and spirit and co-create with the universe.

What big question or series of questions drive your desires in life?  What has that curiosity taught you so far?

While curiosity can take you out of your comfort zone, it can also restore your confidence in times of uncertainty.  Unlike the saying “Curiosity killed the cat,” curiosity is what drives both our individual and collective evolution.